Originally Posted by Helped WantedI would change the second sentence slightly. Try:Originally Posted by Helped Wanted
- There were once ten suns in the sky, which made plants wither, and fierce beasts run wild, which endangered people.
I would change Yi started to shoot the suns to Yi shot the suns.
Instead of if it was not called off by others, how about if he had not been stopped by others?
Say: "Then the severe drought ended."
Instead of got rid of those fierce animals, how about destroyed the dangerous beasts?
Rather than a legendary lady, make that the legendary lady. Make that last clause a sentence. (You have who referring to moon.)Originally Posted by Helped Wanted
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