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  1. #1
    Raiph is offline Junior Member
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    Talking Please have me essay checked

    Here is my writing.Please figure out the mistakes and grade it(bad \ SO SO\SATISFIED\EXCELLENT.).Thank you
    Human cloning -Humane or Not
    Since the first cloning sheep,Dolly was born, people aroung the world have never stopped focusing on cloning .Sone scientists even came up with the idea of human clnoing.Though it is avaliable in theory,what we should take into account now is whether it's humane ot not to put it into practice.
    It sis true that human cloning benefits human being in many ways.For example a parent who lost their beloved childten will feel sad about their death .The cloning of their children is like giving birth to them for the second time, which will help relive their sadness.And it can also makes some great men come back to life by cloning. However, what human cloning bring about are serious ethical issues too.Some people are stronglu opposed to human cloning , the claimed that it goes against the law of nature and it is a sin.A opart from ethical problems,limited technology is still considered as the main barrier to human cloning.
    As a student who majors in biology,I approve of human cloning.Cloning,after all , si a great development in science.As every coin has two sides, it is applicable to human cloning.Whether it is an angel or deveil depends on the purpose for which you clone.

  2. #2
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Please have me essay checked

    First, you need to say: "Please check my essay." If I would have your essay checked that means I would get somebody else to do it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Raiph
    Since the first cloning sheep,Dolly was born, people aroung the world have never stopped focusing on cloning .

    Perhaps:
    Since the first cloned sheep, Dolly, was born, people have been talking about cloning with great interest.
    You have problems with punctuation. For example, space after every period.

    Quote Originally Posted by Raiph
    Some people are stronglu opposed to human cloning , the claimed that it goes against the law of nature and it is a sin.

    Try:
    Some people are strongly opposed to human cloning. They claim it goes against the law of nature and is a sin.

    Perhaps others will have additional comments.

    ~R

  3. #3
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    Smile Re: Please have me essay checked

    It sis (is) true that human cloning benefits human beings in many ways. For example a parent (parents) who lost their beloved childten (children) will feel sad ( disconsolate) about (over) their death (loss) .

    Hope this helps
    Bye Michelle

  4. #4
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Please have me essay checked

    Quote Originally Posted by Raiph
    As a student who majors in biology,I approve of human cloning.Cloning,after all , si a great development in science.As every coin has two sides, it is applicable to human cloning.Whether it is an angel or deveil depends on the purpose for which you clone.
    I would replace (in the first sentence) I approve of with I am in favor of.

    I would simply delete the next two sentences.

    With the fourth sentence do you mean to say that cloning as technology is neutral and can be used for either good or ill purposes?

    ~R

  5. #5
    Raiph is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Please have me essay checked

    Is there anything wrong with the next two sentences?
    Yes it is what I mean.

  6. #6
    Raiph is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Please have me essay checked

    My dear fridend, RonBee ,can you make an overall comment on my essay

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    Default Re: Please have me essay checked

    I would grade your essay as "so so". I think the ideas are good, and it is just the organization where you have problems.

    [QUOTE=Raiph] However, what human cloning bring about are serious ethical issues too.Some people are stronglu opposed to human cloning , the claimed that it goes against the law of nature and it is a sin.A opart from ethical problems,limited technology is still considered as the main barrier to human cloning.


    Human cloning also presents serious ethical and technological issues. Ethical issues are represented by people who strongly oppose the use of cloning technology to clone a human being. Opposers claim that it goes against the laws of nature. ( you can provide an example here).

    Another important issue, if not the most important, is the limited technology available which is still considered by many scientists as the main barrier to human cloning. ( you can be more specific here)
    Last edited by Michelle20; 15-Jul-2006 at 14:33.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Please have me essay checked

    Quote Originally Posted by Raiph
    Is there anything wrong with the next two sentences?


    You refer to:

    Cloning,after all , si a great development in science.As every coin has two sides, it is applicable to human cloning.


    As you state in the first sentence of the paragraph that you are for human cloning, the reader will next want to see what your reasons are. Thus, the two sentences in question do not fit. The second sentence in particular is not only unclear but is ungrammatical (The word "it" doesn't refer to anything).

    In my opinion, the essay is not ready for submission. It does, I think, need to be rewritten. One thing you might do is talk more about the science of cloning.

    ~R

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