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    Default Will you check my essay, please

    DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITY
    30 years ago infants with obvious signs of a developmental disability were often referred directly to an institution where they could be raised. For the last 15 years in the United States there has been a shift in caring for individuals with disabilities to more integration into communities. Thus children being raised at home in their families, educated in community schools which focus on vocational preparation, and assisted in getting and holding jobs. Adults are more often living in group homes or independently and many institutions have been closed.
    A condition is considered a developmental disability when: it results in a significant mental or physical disability, occurs before the age of 18, goes on throughout a personsí life, substantially affects the individualís ability to function and creates a need for some kind of assistance in daily living. Florida recognizes five disabilities as developmental disabilities: mental retardation, autism, cerebral palsy, spina bifida, and Prader-Willi Syndrome.
    The people I work with are likely to have varying types of disabilities.
    Mental Retardation is a life-long condition with different degrees, mild, moderate, severe, and profound, and varying levels of abilities. People with mental retardation are likely to: learn more slowly, have a hard time remembering things that are learned, have a hard time using what is learned in a new situation, think about things in more real-life or concrete ways and keep learning and developing through life like all of us.
    Letís meet Michael. Michael is a 21 years old man with mild mental retardation who lives in a group home. He finished high school in Coral Springs last summer and was ready to go to work. He relates well with everybody, is kind with people around him, initiates conversations, and communicates his needs to his supervisor. In his performance at work, he follows directions, completes the job, is organized and is willing to change task when is needed. Michael also depends on commands to star working, has no patience, takes too long bathroom breaks and complains about people eating his lunch.
    Autism is a developmental brain disorder that affects areas of the brain controlling language, social interaction and abstract thought. Characteristics may include: avoidance of or not paying attention to others, difficult communicating, repetitive motor behavior such as rocking back and forth, repetitive behaviors that can cause injury to themselves, and behavior problems that include resistance to change and emotional responses.
    Letís meet James. James is 19 years old. He was born with autism. He lives with his parents. At work he finishes his work, he is always on time, he stays on seat and on task, and he is very affective with certain people. However James seems not to pay attention to prompts, rarely talks, does not want to change to other task, and rocks and mourns on his seat constantly.
    Cerebral Palsy is a condition where people have difficulty controlling some of their body muscles. Individuals may exhibit the following behaviors: awkward or involuntary movements, poor balance, unusual walk, poor motor coordination, and speech difficulties.
    Letís meet Bill. He is a 50 year old man with Cerebral Palsy who lives in his own apartment. Bill has a permanent girlfriend, drives his car, goes to the gym, is also a good listener, and always smiles. He has worked in the center for 15 years. He prepares the paper work for the staff members and also teaches computer to other challenged people. He exhibits all the characteristics mentioned: he has difficult talking and walking, falls down easily, and has no precision in his movements.
    Spina Bifida is a condition of the skin, spinal column, and spinal cord, in which spinal cords fails to close. Some of the health problems for people with Spina Bifida include: No sense of touch or pain in the legs, paralysis of bladder or bowels that prevent from controlling bodily functions, possible curvature of the spine, and pressures sores.
    Letís meet John. He is 35 years old and is able to do different jobs: manufacturing, teaching computer and clerical work. John is a very social person, is interested in sports and wants to move out with his girlfriend. He does many outdoor activities, moves around in a wheel chair and does not require on-going medical care.
    Prader-Willi Syndrome is a complex genetic disorder. Most people with this syndrome also have some degrees of mental retardation or cognitive difficulties. It is characterized by: obsession to eat and excessive weight gain, trouble pronouncing words, excessive sleepiness, decreased pain sensitivity, and slowed growth.
    Letís meet Sharon. She is 42 years old and lives with her family. She plays piano and singes. She is very social and participates in recreation programs. Her intelligence level is normal however she has an insatiable appetite that makes her gain weight in an excessive manner. Also she cannot stay awake for more than 30 minutes which affects her performance at work.
    Most people with developmental disabilities can do many of the same activities as everyone else. As adults, many hold jobs, live in their own houses or apartments, go to the movies and visit their neighbors just like everyone. But even people with mild developmental disabilities may need some assistance throughout their life. With this support in daily living and working skills, recreation or whatever the person need they can make valued contributions to their communities and have valued roles

  2. #2
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    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Will you check my essay, please

    Quote Originally Posted by PHRISMA
    DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITY
    30 years ago infants with obvious signs of a developmental disability were often referred directly to an institution where they could be raised.
    Say: Thirty years ago.
    Why not say infants with developmental disabilities?

    Quote Originally Posted by PHRISMA
    For the last 15 years in the United States there has been a shift in caring for individuals with disabilities to more integration into communities.
    Rasing them with their families?

    Quote Originally Posted by PHRISMA
    Thus children being raised at home in their families, educated in community schools which focus on vocational preparation, and assisted in getting and holding jobs.
    Say: with their families.
    Where is the verb in that sentence?

    Quote Originally Posted by PHRISMA
    A condition is considered a developmental disability when: it results in a significant mental or physical disability, occurs before the age of 18, goes on throughout a personsí life, substantially affects the individualís ability to function and creates a need for some kind of assistance in daily living.
    There are a couple of punctuation problems in that sentence. Otherwise, it is okay.

    Quote Originally Posted by PHRISMA
    The people I work with are likely to have varying types of disabilities.
    Please rewrite that sentence without "likely to" in it.

    Quote Originally Posted by PHRISMA
    Mental Retardation is a life-long condition with different degrees, mild, moderate, severe, and profound, and varying levels of abilities.
    Please show me how you would rewrite that sentence. Also, tell me why it should be rewritten.


    ~R

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