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Thread: Rewrite

  1. #1
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    Rewrite

    I have rephrased my sentences.Would somebody please comments

    1) Both research on information provided in pharmaceutical advertisements in medical journals and by pharmaceutical representatives have shown the low quality of information. These have created a need for doctors in critically analyzing promotional information which may reduce the negative impact of promotion to doctors prescribing behaviour and patientsí health. However, no study has evaluated the skills of physicians in critically analyzing information in pharmaceutical promotion.

    2) Another example of patientsí health is at risk is when physicians are convinced to use new drugs with unproven health benefits which may lower the usage of older drugs that have been shown in clinical trials to improve health outcomes

    Regards,
    Dean

  2. #2
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    Re: Rewrite

    Quote Originally Posted by dean View Post
    1) Both research on information provided in pharmaceutical advertisements in medical journals and by pharmaceutical representatives have shown the low quality of information.
    Say:
    Both research on information provided in pharmaceutical advertisements in medical journals and by pharmaceutical representatives have shown the low quality of such information.
    Quote Originally Posted by dean View Post
    These have created a need for doctors in critically analyzing promotional information which may reduce the negative impact of promotion to doctors prescribing behaviour and patientsí health.
    You need to simplify that statement. I cannot understand what you are trying to say.

    Quote Originally Posted by dean View Post
    2) Another example of patientsí health is at risk is when physicians are convinced to use new drugs with unproven health benefits which may lower the usage of older drugs that have been shown in clinical trials to improve health outcomes
    Say:
    The health of patients is put at risk when physians are convinced to use new drugs with unproven health benefits which may lower the usage of older drugs that have been shown in clinical trials to improve health outcomes.

  3. #3
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    Re: Rewrite

    Thanks Ronbee.

    Regards,

    Dean

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