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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    Default Can someone read and correct?

    I have written about my favourite tv-programme. Can someone read, correct and give me feedback. The part between [ and ] is taken directly from the internet, but can someone help me writing it "with my own words"? :)

    My favourite tv programme
    Nowadays the TV is an indispensable thing for us. People often watch TV in their spare time. And I must admit I have always been an avid viewer of television, even from an early age. My favourite program's are mainly comedies, which can account for a lot of my sense of humour (Friends, That 70ís show, Everybody loves Raymond, etc). But my absolutely favourite program most be Lost.
    Lost is an American drama television series that goes on the telly every week. Itís about a deserted island. After a somewhat mysterious sequence of events, an oceanic flight from Sydney to LA crashes on what appears to be a deserted island. The chance of being found and rescued is fairly small, so the survivors have to cope with a set of challenges. They have to learn to survive on the island, a mysterious place with enough dangers on its own. Also, they have to learn to live with each other if any success is to be expected. And finally, they have to live with themselves and their past. Interwoven with the events on the islands are flashbacks to the pasts of 14 main characters. Step by step, we learn a little more about their diverse and unexpected past as the groups quest to survive takes shape.
    [If you are one of these people who always asking why x is happening to y in a cinema then run for the hill tops because LOST is not for you. From the start it will leave you gasping for answers and lead you round a maze where the walls can shift at any times, Lost is certainly not passive viewing material. But if you've got the intellect to stick it out then this utterly compelling viewing that will have you rushing out for season two just as fast your legs will carry you. ]
    Lost must be one of the most gripping shows on television, that has made it big on both sides of the Atlantic, this is the one show that every one should see. It seems that at the end of every show, no matter how well you think you may have figured out what is going on, the fantastic writers on the show throw in a few twists and turns, to leave you completely. . . lost. Which in my opinion is great.
    I think Lost is a well-written and well-acted show that brings a bit of mystery back onto television. Itís creepy, funny, romantic, tragic and sometimes just weird, it's definitely worth checking out.

  2. #2
    Philly is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Default Start again

    Hi psycho
    .
    My feedback is: It seems that much more than what's in between the brackets comes directly from the internet.
    .
    I'd suggest starting over. Simply write down what you know and think about the show without looking at what other people have written about it. You've already done more than enough of that. And don't look at what you posted here, either. Much too much of it is only "cut and paste".
    .
    After you've written something that is really your own work, post that for feedback and correction.
    .

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