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  1. #1
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    Default Pls correct it, thanx

    TOPIC: ARGUMENT232 - The following appeared in a memo from the sales manager of Eco-Power, a company that manufactures tools and home appliances.

    "Many popular radio and television commercials use memorable tunes and song lyrics to call attention to the products being advertised. Indeed, a recent study of high school students showed that 85 percent could easily recognize the tunes used to advertise leading soft drinks and fast-food restaurants. Despite our company's extensive advertising in magazines during the past year, sales of our home appliances declined. Therefore, to boost company profits, we should now switch to advertisements featuring a distinctive song."

    WORDS: 501-->653 TIME: 0:30:00 DATE: 8.27.2006

    In this argument, the arguer claims that the Eco-Power (EP) should make some distinctive song as advertisementsto earn company profits. To support the claims the arguer cites a survey among high school students showing their trend to remember the songs as the advertisements of soft drink and fast-food restaurants. Deep weighing all the premises and assumptions on closer analysis, we find neither are the premises convincing nor is the conclusion compelling. It is obviously full of gaps and loop holes since it provides fragmentary evidence.

    Primarily, the argument depends on the premise that the memorable songs could call attention to the products of popular radio and television commercials. Yet the arguer confuses the correlation with causal relationship. Although the high correlation between such tunes and the easily recognizing related commercials is strong evidence of causal relation between them, in itself is insufficient. The arguer overlooks the great possibility that the songs are not the only factor serving to the well-known products. Other such factors include the high quantity of products, the famous stars who sing the songs. For instance, as we know, the KFC is a famous fast-food restaurants for its delicious products and comfortable service not any advertisementssongs. Or perhaps these songs singed by some well-known stars, and the reason that these songs be remembered is actually the listeners are the stars' fans. Either scenario, if true, would render the argument's premise unconvincing.

    Furthermore, even the songs succeed in popular radio and television areas, the arguer assumes further that this action willalso be effective in manufactures tools and home appliances companies such as EP. This is a hastily generalization . No evidence is provided that the condition upon which the tunes' effectiveness depends will remain unchanged from popular radio and television to manufactures tools and home appliances. It is entirely possible that the songs of the former make consumers tend to buy the CD including such songs while it would never happen to the latter. In short, without complete evidence the arguer cannot convince us the songs are effective in EP sales.

    In addition, the survey cited as evidence to support the premise mentioned in second paragraph is not representative. First problem has to do with the procedure of survey. What is the size of survey? Is it large enough to reflect all consumers' mind? How about the quantity of sample? Is it random of selective? What question was asked in survey? Is it loaded question tempting be answered as certain answers? Second is about the respondents. As we know it is the key to convince us that the survey is reliable that all the respondents are forthright and representative. Unfortunately, neither the arguer proves. On one hand, it is entirely possible that the respondents have provided their responses that they believe the asker approve of, regardless whether or not the responses are truthful. Or perhaps, the people who inclined to evaluate products by tunes and songs in advertisement were more willing to respond this survey than others were. Without ruling out these possibilities, we would refrain from following the arguer’s recommendation. On the other hand, the respondents, high school student, are not representative of the major consumers’ mind. In fact, most the payers of popular radio and television are not high school students but adults. All in all, it is necessary to provide a survey of adults.

    To sum up, the argument is the result of a huge speculation in which the arguer comfortably assumed a considerable amount of data. To better evaluate the argument's strength we should know more detail about the demographic profile of the respondents of survey. Moreover, had the arguer take the following discussed factors into view, it would render the argument irrefutable. (1) The memorable tunes and song lyrics really succeed in those popular radio companies. (2) The succession could be learned as experience to earn profits even out of the popular radio area.

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: Pls correct it, thanx

    Of the words in red, I'd use 'an advertisment' rather than the plural or change 'as' to 'in'.
    'Hastily generalisation'- as this is a noun, you should use the adjective not the adverb.
    'Huge speculation'- this doesn't really collocate for me- I'd say 'a great deal of'

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Pls correct it, thanx

    Thanx very much. Tdol
    You are so kind:)

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Pls correct it, thanx

    Addtionally, could you explain the mean of 'speculation'?
    I use it just by learning other article.

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