Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    26
    Post Thanks / Like

    composition opinion about education

    Could you correct this composition, please?

    What is your opinion about education nowadays?
    (80 - 100 words)

    Education is very important nowadays in our society. In industrialized countries, jobs are very complex and people have to study a lot of years and very often they should have a training in technology.
    Fifty years ago, our society was very different. Most people just needed a basic education.
    Generally, with a good education people can have a good job and a better salary. If they are lucky they can work in something they like.
    In conclusion, I think that education is important because it can help people to live better.

  2. #2
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    16,570
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: composition opinion about education

    Quote Originally Posted by jvaldelv
    Education is very important nowadays in our society. In industrialized countries, jobs are very complex and people have to study a lot of years and very often they should have a training in technology.
    Do they have to study for a number of years or for a long time or what? (You can't study years.) They need to have training (not "a training") in what kind of technology? Computer technology?



    Quote Originally Posted by jvaldelv
    Fifty years ago, our society was very different. Most people just needed a basic education.
    For what purpose did they need that education?

    Quote Originally Posted by jvaldelv
    Generally, with a good education people can have a good job and a better salary. If they are lucky they can work in something they like. In conclusion, I think that education is important because it can help people to live better.
    They can get a good job if they have acquired a good education? Can they find work doing something they like? Education will help people to live better what? (You don't really need "In conclusion" there except to increase your word count.)

    :)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    26
    Post Thanks / Like

    Is this better?

    Education is very important nowadays in our society. In industrialized countries, jobs are very complex and people have to study for a long time and very often they should have training in computer technology.
    Fifty years ago, our society was very different. Most people to have a job just needed a basic education.
    Generally, people who have university studies have access to better jobs and better salaries. Moreover, they can often choose to work in something they like. I think that education is important because it can help people to have a better standard of life.

  4. #4
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    16,570
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Is this better?

    Quote Originally Posted by jvaldelv
    Education is very important nowadays in our society. In industrialized countries, jobs are very complex and people have to study for a long time and very often they should have training in computer technology.
    Fifty years ago, our society was very different. Most people to have a job just needed a basic education.
    Generally, people who have university studies have access to better jobs and better salaries. Moreover, they can often choose to work in something they like. I think that education is important because it can help people to have a better standard of life.
    That's better, but I do have a couple of suggestions.

    Say get a job.

    Say people who have gone to college or people who have studied at university.

    Say better standard of living or better quality of life.

    :)

Similar Threads

  1. Please edit the abstract:
    By NewHope in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 26-Oct-2004, 13:09
  2. Does speaking well indicate intelligence and/or education?
    By CitySpeak in forum General Language Discussions
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 06-Dec-2003, 17:50
  3. my composition
    By o_cat in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 02-Nov-2003, 19:37

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •