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  1. #1
    JJ-BOLLMAN Guest

    Default Please help me corecct some mistakes in my short essay

    Hi!
    Iīve just written an essay about a short story that Iīve read. Iīm going to hand it in pretty soon and i wounder if there is some english speaker out there who can help me correct the spelling and grammer mistakes Iīve done. Iīm very greatful with every single help i can get! Best regards: Jonathan from Sweden.
    (The essay i would like you to correct below)
    __________________________________________________ ____________
    Johns Journal
    5th of July 1899.
    I woke up this morning with an indescribable headache. I was lying on the floor in the nursery. At that point, I really didnít remember what had happened last day, until I saw the yellow wallpaper that had been ripped of the wall. Yesterdays happenings reviewed in my shaken head. It was terrible, I passed out again.
    When I woke up this time, my thoughts where a bit clearer, even though I still found it hard to believe. My wife has gone totally insane.
    When I fist tried to enter the nursery where she were, the door was locked. I kindly asked her to open the door but evidently she had thrown the key out of the window. When I finally came in, I saw the craziest thing I ever seen. My wife were creeping around in circles on the floor over what she called another woman, and tried to rip all the wallpaper of the wall at the same time as she was making strange noises. I couldnít understand what I saw, it was so macabre and just too much, I fainted.
    My afterwards thoughts were that I should have predicted this earlier. She has been mentally ill for some months now and it has just getting worse and worse, even though I told her the opposite. I really did what was the best for her; I even rented a house for her sake, with a room that perfectly fitted her needs. I have for a pretty long time seen signs of mentally problems with her, and Iíve since then tried to help her. What she needed was to be for herself for a while, too take long walks in the forest and just try to recover, and what did I get for that? A wife that creeps like a total maniac on the floor. I have now realized that there is no hope in her case, not at all. I canít take care of someone that not appreciates everything I do for her, and never recover, thatís why I think her case is hopeless. I actually even question myself and my own method, to try to heal her mentally illness. It was at that point I realized that the whole thing has went to far. Iím not the one whoís having mentally problems. Iím even a doctor so I really knows whatís best for her, but the thing is, she didnít do as I told her. And thatís why the whole thing just blow over. I told her to not think too much, to not read or write but she did it anyway, no doubt that she never recovered and went better.
    Iím an educated man with lots of experience of these types of cases and Iíve never seen anything like this, thatís why Iím so sure that she did this to herself.
    By the way - I found her diary yesterday. I read it a few times and you donít even have to be a doctor to see that this is the main factor for her deterioration.
    Iíll now go further in my life without my wife. Sheíll in a few minutes go to a mental hospital near this place and I will go further in my life with a good conscienceÖ
    __________________________________________________ __________________
    THANKS!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Please help me corecct some mistakes in my short essay

    Quote Originally Posted by JJ-BOLLMAN View Post
    Hi!
    Iīve just written an essay about a short story that Iīve read. Iīm going to hand it in pretty soon and i wounder if there is some english speaker out there who can help me correct the spelling and grammer mistakes Iīve done. Iīm very greatful with every single help i can get! Best regards: Jonathan from Sweden.
    (The essay i would like you to correct below)
    __________________________________________________ ____________
    Johns Journal
    5th of July 1899.
    I woke up this morning with an indescribable headache. I was lying on the floor in the nursery. At that point, I really didnít remember what had happened last day, DELETE until I saw the yellow wallpaper that had been ripped of the wall. Yesterday's happenings replayed themselvesin my shaken head. It was terrible;I passed out again.
    When I woke up this time, my thoughts where a bit clearer, even though I still found it hard to believe. My wife has gone totally insane.
    When I fist tried to enter the nursery where she was, the door was locked. I kindly asked her to open the door but evidently she had thrown the key out of the window. When I finally gotin, I saw the craziest thing I'dever seen. My wife was creeping around in circles on the floor over what she called another woman, and was trying to rip all the wallpaper off the wall at the same time as she was making strange noises. I couldnít understand what I [COLOR="red"]was seeing[/COLOR.It was so macabre and just too much. I fainted.
    My thoughts afterwardswere that I should have predicted this earlier. She has been mentally ill for some months now and it has just been getting worse and worse, even though I told her the opposite. I really did what was the best for her; I even rented a house for her sake, with a room that perfectly fitted her needs. I have for a pretty long time been seeing signs of mental problems with her, and ever since I've been tryingto help her. What she needed was to be for - DELETE herself for a while, too -DELETE take long walks in the forest and just try to recover. What did I get for my concern? A wife that creeps about like a total maniac on the floor. I have now realized that there is no hope in her case, not at all. I canít take care of someone that doesn't appreciate anything I do for her, and never tries to recover. thatís why I think her case is hopeless. I actually even question myself and my own methodin trying to heal her mentally illness. It was at that point I realized that the whole thing has gone too far. Iím not the one whoís having mental problems. Iím even a doctor so I really knows whatís best for her, but the thing is, she doesn't do as I tell her. And thatís why the whole thing just blew over. I told her to not think too much, to not read or write but she did it anyway. It's no wonder that she never recovered and got better.
    Iím an educated man with lots of experience in these of cases and Iíve never seen anything like this, thatís why Iím so sure that she did this to herself.
    By the way - I found her diary yesterday. I read it a few times and you donít even have to be a doctor to see that this is the main factor in her deterioration.
    Iíll now go further in my life without my wife. In a few minutes, she'll go to a mental hospital near here and I will get on with my life with a good conscienceÖ
    __________________________________________________ __________________
    THANKS!
    Jonathan,

    I have tried to make only necessary corrections to your text, but I think you need to pay more attention to your use of tense. Your general vocabulary and grammar are good (although examine 'to' versus 'too'), but your style is hampered by very many discontinuities and incorrect choices of tense throughout your sentences. This makes your writing appear strange and foreign at times, and I think leads you into difficult sentence constructions.

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