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Thread: My story

  1. #1
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    Default My story

    Hey guys

    This is my first post and am little nervous

    I was wondering if someone could correct the bad grammer/spelling for me,i am about half way through my stroy is about the 1966 World Cup btw.

    Also feel free to critisice and suggest

    Also it is in Times New roman 12 and it is required to have an sentence then space ;).

  2. #2
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    Default Re: My story

    “They think it’s all over…it is now!”


    Nineteen-Sixty Six. This was the year the BBC announced plans to broadcast

    television in colour. This was the year James Meredith, the first man to brave the colour

    bar at the University of Mississippi, was shot and wounded. This was the year American

    Movie producer, pioneer of animated cartoons, Walt Disney, died of lung cancer.

    All these were significant moments in the year Nineteen-Sixty Six, but the year Nineteen-

    Sixty Six is the year that most imperatively resonates through English history. The year

    England won the World Cup, formerly known as the Jules Rimet.





    England kicked off it’s World cup campaign with a disappointing 0-0 draw in front of

    87,000 fans, who were left discontented by England’s lack of killer instinct in

    front of the goal.


    In it‘s second game against the Mexicans, England showed no signs of disintegrating

    under the possessive nations high expectations .England relentlessly attacked the

    Mexican goal. The English team played superbly and it was inevitable that England

    would break the deadlock, and in the 37th minute ,Bobby Charlton received the ball out

    wide, with a deft touch he brought the ball inside. Remaining poised he danced past

    two Mexicans before striking the ball into the corner of the net from 30 yards out,

    sending the English fans into raptures.



    As the game drew to a close, Roger Hunt won the ball from a deep cross. Controlling

    the ball with his left boot, and then in a blink of an eye shifting to his right, he

    calmly placed the ball past Ignacio Calderon. This was the last goal as England ran out

    2-0 winners.




    England faced France in their penultimate group match. The French were lying bottom of

    the group with a solitary point, their performances were below standard.

    England’s hopes of winning the Jules Rimet were thrown into doubt when Jimmy

    Greaves was carried off with a gashed leg after just after 15 minutes of play. Little did

    they know it would be Greaves replacement, Geoff Hurst, who fulfilled England’s

    expectations. Even without Greaves, England looked commendable.









    Roger Hunt! Roger Hunt! Roger Hunt! As a loud shriek signalled the end of the game;

    this was the chant reverberating around Wembley stadium. England had defied

    expectations by going through the preliminary rounds.









    England vs. Argentina. In years to come a contest which would incite fierce rivalry and

    deep bitterness. The two teams met in the Quarter-Finals of the tournament and England

    won 1-0 thanks to a goal from striker Geoff Hurst. In a performance described as an

    “belligerent display“.



    However, the game was particularly distinguished for the sending-off of Argentine

    captain Antonio Rattin. There was 10 minutes till half time, the referee blew his whistle

    “free-kick to England” signalled the referee. The Argentine captain Rattin was infuriated

    by this decision. He furiously approached the referee, arguing that he did not impede

    Charlton claiming it was a 50-50 challenge. The referee stood by his decision “Free kick

    to England”, Rattin who was already cautioned, foolishly continued to protest his

    innocence. As a result for his “violence of tongue“. He was shown a subsequent booking

    resulting in a red card. Rattin profoundly incensed with the decision, believing the

    referee to be biased in favour of England, he initially refused to leave the field..

    Eventually, he had to be escorted from the field by two police officers. England made

    heavy weather of their extra man, until Hurst made his first impression, scoring the

    winner which took England to the world cup Semi-Finals for the very first time.



    After the match, England manager Alf Ramsey promptly marched onto the pitch.

    Showing resentment Ramsey walked up to his players “do not swap shirts with these

    animals” ordered Ramsey. This was only the beginning of an intense rivalry.

  3. #3
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: My story

    Nineteen-Sixty Six - inconsistent punctuation, and do we need all those capitals?
    Movie producer, pioneer of animated cartoons- use a conjunction not a comma here- it's a list of two
    Jules Rimet-(I'm not a big football fan, so just the name looks strange to me was it the JR Cup or something?)
    In it‘s second game- Hmmmm, can you spot the error here?
    England vs. Argentina. In years to come a contest which would incite fierce rivalry and deep bitterness.- couldn't you make the second a proper sentence?
    as an
    “belligerent display“- an??
    particularly distinguished for the sending-off of Argentine
    captain Antonio Rattin- I'd changed 'distinguished'
    shown a subsequent booking- shown a booking?
    Rattin profoundly incensed with the decision, believing the
    referee to be biased in favour of England, he initially refused to leave the field..
    - this doesn't linke up because you have Rattin and the pronoun, yet the first part isn't a clause

  4. #4
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    Default Re: My story

    Hey

    Thanks for replying i will correct the bad grammar

    Have you enjoyed the piece so far,anything you suggest,to improve or...?

  5. #5
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: My story

    You could possibly add something more about how the intense rivalry has continued to this day.

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