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  1. #1
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    Default Parallel Structure

    I have the following two sentences:
    1. The Dark Romantic writers and thinksers believed that the nature of man was to eventually sin, that nature also held the potential for both good and evil, and that signs and symbols were evident in all things.
    2. The Dark Romantic writers and thinksers believed that sin was eventual in man's nature, that the potential for both good and evil was in nature, and that signs and symbols were evident in all things.
    The first sentence is the original; the second came from the first one after some efforts to make the sentence more parallel in structure. However, I feel that the first one is good enough, not needing any rewriting at all. In fact, I think that the first one is better than the second one. Could you please help me out by giving your judgement and opinion on them?
    Thanks a lot in advance.
    Dan
    Last edited by 5laker; 03-Oct-2006 at 20:48.

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: Parallel Structure

    thnksers- should thinker

    I am not sure about the use of 'eventually'- I would say something like 'human nature is inherently sinful'

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Parallel Structure

    Quote Originally Posted by Tdol View Post
    thnksers- should thinker

    I am not sure about the use of 'eventually'- I would say something like 'human nature is inherently sinful'
    I thought of "inherently" also, but doesn't that contradict the "duality" statement?

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    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: Parallel Structure

    Possibly, but does being sinful mean that you have no capacity for good?

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Parallel Structure

    Quote Originally Posted by Tdol View Post
    Possibly, but does being sinful mean that you have no capacity for good?
    Hmmm.

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