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  1. #1
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    Default please review and rate my essay

    Some students prefer to study alone. Other prefer to study with group of students. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to explain your answer?

    Some people prefer to study alone, while other with friends. It is up to the once nature, which way they choose and works better for them. As for me, I would prefer to study alone and I have following reasons:

    Firstly, since, I am reserve kind of person. I cannot easily mix with the other people. So, when we study with group, there will be lot of conversations and exchange of ideas. Because of my nature, I cannot freely express my views with the group. As a result, I feel like inferior to others and easily lost my interest. So, instead of focusing my effort on study my mind lingers in others thought.

    Secondly, I feel that whenever or whatever we do, one of the most important things is concentration. If we could not concentrate on whatever we do, the result will be always negative. Concentration is directly related to the environment we are in. If we are alone, there are less noise and lesser elements of distraction. We could focus our mind on whatever is in front of us. This is why many great yogis, who go to quite places to do mediations. The Buddha spent 16 years alone under banyan tree and finally enlightened.

    Finally, when we are alone we have more freedom; you are free from other people imposing their ideas on us. We are free to think of what we have in on mind. We are free to study on what we have in our mind. Therefore, on the basis of these reasons, I prefer to study alone then with group. However, there are lot of other people who learn more when they are with group.

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: please review and rate my essay

    Some people prefer to study alone, while other with friends.- I'd delete this sentence as it just repeats what's in the question and doesn't answer the question.
    the once nature,- individual's nature which...
    I would prefer - I see no need for 'would' here unless you cannot actually study alone now
    and I have following reasons:- you shouldn't end the paragraph with a colon, so rephrase this

  3. #3
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    Default Re: please review and rate my essay

    Thanks for the suggestion.

  4. #4
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    jzhang159 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: please review and rate my essay

    overall, it is a very good essay. However, i would prefer a much less vague generalization.

  5. #5
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    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: please review and rate my essay

    Quote Originally Posted by thinley View Post
    Some people prefer to study alone, while other with friends. It is up to the once nature, which way they choose and works better for them. As for me, I would prefer to study alone and I have following reasons:
    Some people prefer to study alone. Others prefer so study with friends. As for me, I prefer to study alone.

  6. #6
    waseem gurmani is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: please review and rate my essay

    you have written good essay but dont forget repitition makes your essay boring and monotonous.you have time and again used "I" which is making you writing jerky.For an essay its pertinent that the start must be impressive.your start seems answer of a scientific question while you are writing literature.moreover, right and impressive selection of words impart beauty to your style....rest is good

  7. #7
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    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: please review and rate my essay

    Say:
    If we can not concentrate on what we are trying to do....
    ~R

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