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  1. #1
    leolyy is offline Junior Member
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    Default another letter welcome corrected

    Here's a letter in the form of enquiry. All the words in bold indicate where I feel quite unsure and suffer from finding better expressions. Any corrections about those would be appreciated.

    Thanks

    Chengwei Liu



    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I learn from the Google’s newsgroup that the places can be rented for activities at your park. As the location of the park is favorable, I intend to have a rent and I am writing to enquire about some detailed circumstances/conditions. Any related response would be appreciated. Below is the details. 51

    I am going to hold a picnic in late November. During that time, when will there be any places available at your park? How long in advance is the reservation supposed to be made? And, how much is the rent charge? Is there any deposit required? Also I wonder if there is any discount or if there are some preferential activities? 61

    In order to make a good preparation for the picnic, tomorrow I would like to have a quick look at the surroundings inside the park. I hope you would provide me with further introductions or some specific items worth caution. 40

    Thank you for your assistance. If you have any questions, please contact me at 012-345678. A prompt reply will be appreciated. 21

    Yours sincerely,

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: another letter welcome corrected

    have a rent- rent one
    details of the conditions
    preferential activities- not sure why you're asking this. I would understand if you were asking about restrictions, but you have said you want a picnic
    the surroundings inside the park- look around the park
    specific items worth caution- restricted items??

  3. #3
    leolyy is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: another letter welcome corrected

    Thanks for the reply, Tdol

    this is also a letter prepared for the test, not a real one, hehe,

    by "preferential activities" i wanted to mean the situation similar to the discount: for example, McDonalds offten motivate people to come to eat by presenting some children toys after you buy there a suit of meal. so this is another kind of discount but not usual discount. so what is the proper or popular expression in english? can it be called "sales promotion"?

    by "specific items worth caution" i wanted to mean some safety related things, such as fire protection or something, is it ok?

    Thanks
    Chengwei Liu

  4. #4
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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      • English Teacher
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      • British English
      • Home Country:
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    Default Re: another letter welcome corrected

    1 That's a sales promotion to me
    2 or provide me information aboput any health and safety issues

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