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  1. #1
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    Default My Personal Statement

    Hello! I am currently writing my personal statement for university, although I think that it still needs some work done to it. As I am going to be studying English Language at university, I figure that it's best to get the grammar and overall statement spot on. I figure that there's no better place to get advice and ideas from than here.


    At 6th form I studied Media Studies, History and Philosophy and Ethics. I achieved B grades in all three of my subjects at A-Level. This is due to my ability to meet deadlines and work in groups when it is necessary. Throughout the two years that I studied these subjects, I have become increasingly interested in the English language. My goal at university is to be able to expand my ability and understanding of English by majoring in English Language. As I may choose a career in the media, it would really benefit me to learn about the various ways English can be used day to day, and in a variety of social contexts. This also interests me greatly.

    As well as teaching me English language skills, my subjects have also taught me other skills. Media Studies has helped me learn about representations and why they exist in the media, while Philosophy and Ethics has taught me a range of skills such as not to always accept what we are told and to look at the world in a different way. History has taught me why the world is like it is today and the reasons for it.

    My hobbies include reading, music and computing. I read a lot of fiction novels and my favourite author is John Irving, as he writes fascinating stories in his own unique manner. Reading has definitely given me an interest in the English language. My passion for reading and music stems from my interest and enjoyment of interpreting my own meaning from both music and books. It interests me the way in which language can reveal a personís identity and status; and this is an important factor in both music and fiction. I have always enjoyed computing, both inside and outside studies. I studied GNVQ ICT, which helped me improve my ICT skills. I try to use computers whenever I can to aid my work. I often use the internet for research and I word process whenever I can.

    Over the past summer, I have had a full-time job working on a leisure park. This has helped me to work as a team, as well as giving me experience of what it is like to have a job in the workplace. In addition, this helped me build up confidence of meeting new people and improve my communication skills.

    To balance my academic studies, I enjoy playing a lot of sports. I play football on a regular basis, and jog occasionally in order to maintain good physical fitness. I am a member of my local snooker club and play on a weekly basis. In addition, I am a keen course fisherman, which I also enjoy doing greatly. Furthermore, I play golf, although not at club level. I am looking forward to the opportunities the university sport clubs will offer. I am also planning to go travelling after I have completed my degree.


    I believe that the time I spend at university will be one of the most enjoyable and rewarding times of my life. I realise the opportunities that a university degree will offer me, and intend to work consistently to achieve it. While academic work is obviously important, I realise that university is about meeting new people. I am definitely looking forward to and greatly anticipate this. I am a sociable person and am also looking forward to the independence that university life offers.


    Any help is greatly appreciated!
    Thanks!

  2. #2
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    Thumbs up Re: My Personal Statement

    Wow, this is long! I will just go over the first paragraph for flow and style. Maybe you can use it as a guide for the rest, or maybe someone else can pick up the second, or maybe I'll be back later, or maybe cows will fly in from the moon, or maybe...
    Your overall structure and organization is very good by the way, but I would add an introductory outline paragraph introducing yourself, explaining this document, and mentioning the schools name as your choice for education.
    ::
    here goes...
    Key:
    change
    delete
    I can't understand this
    ::
    In 6th form I took Media Studies, History, and Philosophy & Ethics. I achieved B grades in all three of my subjects at A-Level. I feel that my success was chiefly due to a good ability to meet deadlines, and work in groups when it is necessary. Throughout the two years that I studied these subjects, I became increasingly interested in the English language. Therefore my goal for university is to be able to expand my ability in, and understanding of English by choosing it as my major. As I may choose a career in the media, and I feelit would really benefit me most to learn about the various ways in whichEnglish can be used day to day, and in various social contexts. This also interests me greatly.
    ::
    please explain what also interests you greatly!
    As always, these are only suggestions, so don't follow this blindly without deciding whether you think you like it better. Your writing is quite high level, and as such there are many edits I have made which are not corrections but subjective questions of style.
    ::
    No more time for now, but good luck with the rest!
    -Jesse
    Last edited by JSmiley; 11-Nov-2006 at 16:17.

  3. #3
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: My Personal Statement

    Quote Originally Posted by Sammy P View Post
    Hello! I am currently writing my personal statement for university, although I think that it still needs some work done to it. As I am going to be studying English Language at university, I figure that it's best to get the grammar and overall statement spot on. I figure that there's no better place to get advice and ideas from than here.
    Hello! I am currently writing my personal statement for university, and it still needs some work. As I am going to be studying English at university, I figure that it's best to get the grammar and overall statement spot on. I figure that there's no better place to get advice and ideas than here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sammy P View Post
    At 6th form I studied Media Studies, History and Philosophy and Ethics.
    At 6th form I took Media Studies, History, and Philosophy and Ethics.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sammy P View Post
    I achieved B grades in all three of my subjects at A-Level. This is due to my ability to meet deadlines and work in groups when it is necessary.
    I achieved B grades in all three of my subjects at A-Level. That was due to my ability to meet deadlines and my ability to work as a member of a group.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sammy P View Post
    Throughout the two years that I studied these subjects, I have become increasingly interested in the English language. My goal at university is to be able to expand my ability and understanding of English by majoring in English Language. As I may choose a career in the media, it would really benefit me to learn about the various ways English can be used day to day, and in a variety of social contexts. This also interests me greatly.
    Throughout the two years these subjects, I became increasingly interested in learning about the English language. My goal at university is to increase my understanding of English and to increase my ability to use English in a variety of contexts. As I may choose a career in the media, it would really benefit me to learn about the various ways English is used on a daily basis in a variety of social contexts.

    Say:
    ...working at a leisure park.

    ~R

  4. #4
    pawz is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: My Personal Statement

    Could u possibly check mine aswell?

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