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  1. #1
    Anonymous Guest

    Default can somone please edit this short reflection

    please check for grammar, past/present tense, etc and rephrase any stuff if necessary
    thx!


    In the movie, Mr Hollandís Opus, there are many issues that relate to

    human growth and development. One of the many that are worth

    mentioning is the relationship between Holland and his students. In the

    beginning, Hollandís goal was to write one memorable piece of music that

    would be in the music scene forever. However, he ends up teaching

    music at a high school hoping it would pay off the bills. He is frustrated at

    first because the students are bored and unresponsive, yet Holland didnít

    give up. He manages to teach students through radical methods such as

    playing rock and roll instead of Mozart. As time goes on, Holland develops

    a strong bond with the students. He spends untold hours preparing

    lessons, connecting with students, organizing a marching band, and

    directing the school musical. All of this extra work pays off, as Holland is

    able to realize the importance of what he is doing, and finally admits that

    teaching is all he ever really wanted to do.

    Another issue of human growth is the relationship between Cole and

    his father. Holland really wanted to share his passion of music with Cole.

    However, he couldnít accept that Cole had a 90% hearing loss because

    he knew Cole would never appreciate music the way he does. Unable to

    draw the child into his musical world, Holland struggles to communicate

    with him as professional responsibilities consume him. In addition, the

    hearing loss limits Coleís development as he has to attend a private

    school to communicate using sign language. This results in Holland

    thinking that his son will never understand why what he does is

    important. An example would be the death of John Lennon. Holland

    brushes off his son, believing Cole couldn't possibly understand the depth

    of his sorrow. Cole has to get into his fatherís face to explain that he does

    indeed care about music, because it is so much a part of his father. Cole

    pleads his father to teach him more about music so he can understand.

    This is the turning point in their relationship that opens the door of

    communication. Holland works with the principal at Cole's school to plan a

    way to share the high school orchestra's performance with the

    hearing impaired. They agree to use lights to punctuate the orchestral

    number, and sign to share the lyrics of a song that Glenn Holland

    dedicates to his son. Father and son are shown joyfully sharing music

    later, Cole feeling the vibrations by sitting on a stereo speaker. Equally

    important is the relationship between Cole and his mother. Much of the

    responsibility in taking care of Cole is his mother. She really wanted to

    Cole to share the same the passion with his father. She tried her best to

    give the support that was needed to bring Cole up. The scene where Mrs

    Holland was screaming and going hysterical to his husband over the issue

    on which school Cole should attend was memorizing. It teaches us that a

    person should love his son/daughter no matter how they look or what

    defects have. Many people in this society neglect their children because

    they are not born normal. As a result, these children feel isolated in the

    society which can lead to serious problems in the future.

    In the end of the movie, Hollandís compassion for his students and his

    desire to bond with his son carries him through his troubles, and actually

    pays off for him at the end, when he sees what has become of his

    beloved pupils. His students and family are his music, written on his

    heart, commending him to us and instructing us about the meaning of

    lifelong investment in something worthwhile: people. And with the help of

    his students and his family, Glenn Holland learns that though our lives

    don't always turn out the way we plan them, life is what happens when

    you embrace the unexpected.

  2. #2
    RonBee's Avatar
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    In the movie, Mr Hollandís Opus, there are many issues that relate to human growth and development. One of the many that are worth
    mentioning is the relationship between Holland and his students.
    That's good. :)

    In the beginning, Hollandís goal was to write one memorable piece of music that would be in the music scene forever. However, he ends up teaching music at a high school hoping it would pay off the bills.
    Try:
    • At the beginning of the movie Hollandís goal is to write one memorable piece of music that will be a part of the music scene forever. However, he ends up teaching music at a high school hoping that will pay off bills.

    Movies are not real life. In real life after something happens it becomes part of the past. In a movie there is not a past tense the same way there is in real life. In a move the characters are, in a sense, immortal, living their lives over and over and over.

    :)

  3. #3
    RonBee's Avatar
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    He is frustrated at first because the students are bored and unresponsive, yet Holland didnít give up. He manages to teach students through radical methods such as playing rock and roll instead of Mozart.
    Try:
    • He is frustrated at first because the students are bored and unresponsive, yet Holland doesnít give up. He manages to teach students through radical methods such as playing rock and roll instead of Mozart.


    :)

  4. #4
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    As time goes on, Holland develops a strong bond with the students. He spends untold hours preparing lessons, connecting with students, organizing a marching band, and directing the school musical. All of this extra work pays off, as Holland is able to realize the importance of what he is doing, and finally admits that teaching is all he ever really wanted to do.
    That's good, but I would (in the last sentence) replace admits with something else.

    :)

  5. #5
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    Default Re: can somone please edit this short reflection

    Quote Originally Posted by tomk
    Another issue of human growth is the relationship between Cole and his father. Holland really wanted to share his passion of music with Cole. However, he couldnít accept that Cole had a 90% hearing loss because he knew Cole would never appreciate music the way he does. Unable to draw the child into his musical world, Holland struggles to communicate with him as professional responsibilities consume him. In addition, the hearing loss limits Coleís development as he has to attend a private school to communicate using sign language. This results in Holland thinking that his son will never understand why what he does is important. An example would be the death of John Lennon. Holland brushes off his son, believing Cole couldn't possibly understand the depth of his sorrow. Cole has to get into his fatherís face to explain that he does indeed care about music, because it is so much a part of his father. Cole pleads his father to teach him more about music so he can understand. This is the turning point in their relationship that opens the door of communication. Holland works with the principal at Cole's school to plan a way to share the high school orchestra's performance with the hearing impaired. They agree to use lights to punctuate the orchestral number, and sign to share the lyrics of a song that Glenn Holland dedicates to his son. Father and son are shown joyfully sharing music later, Cole feeling the vibrations by sitting on a stereo speaker. Equally important is the relationship between Cole and his mother. Much of the responsibility in taking care of Cole is his mother. She really wanted to Cole to share the same the passion with his father. She tried her best to give the support that was needed to bring Cole up. The scene where Mrs Holland was screaming and going hysterical to his husband over the issue on which school Cole should attend was memorizing. It teaches us that a person should love his son/daughter no matter how they look or what defects have. Many people in this society neglect their children because they are not born normal. As a result, these children feel isolated in the society which can lead to serious problems in the future.
    Re:
    • Another issue of human growth is the relationship between Cole and his father. Holland really wanted to share his passion of music with Cole.

    In the second sentence, say passion for music.
    Re:
    • Holland really wanted to share his passion of music with Cole. However, he couldnít accept that Cole had a 90% hearing loss because he knew Cole would never appreciate music the way he does.

    I suggest that you rewrite that paragraph in the present tense. Thus, the above passage would read:
    • Holland really wants to share his passion for music with Cole. However, he canít accept that Cole has a 90% hearing loss, because he knows Cole will never appreciate music the way he does.

    Re:
    • An example would be the death of John Lennon.

    An example of what?
    Re:
    • Holland brushes off his son, believing Cole couldn't possibly understand the depth of his sorrow.

    Can you be more specific?
    Re:
    • Much of the responsibility in taking care of Cole is his mother.

    Say:
    • Much of the responsibility in taking care of Cole belongs to his mother.

  6. #6
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default

    It's a lengthy paragraph.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by tdol
    It's a lengthy paragraph.
    That it is.

    :wink:

  8. #8
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    Re:
    • Cole pleads his father to teach him more about music so he can understand.

    • Cole pleads with his father to teach him more about music so he can understand it better.

    Re:
    • They agree to use lights to punctuate the orchestral number, and sign to share the lyrics of a song that Glenn Holland dedicates to his son.

    • They agree to use lights to punctuate the orchestral number, and they use sign language to explain the lyrics of a song that Glenn Holland dedicates to his son.

    Re:
    • Father and son are shown joyfully sharing music later, Cole feeling the vibrations by sitting on a stereo speaker.

    What kind of vibrations is Cole feeling?

    Re:
    • She really wanted to Cole to share the same the passion with his father.

    How might you improve that sentence?

    Re:
    • She tried her best to give the support that was needed to bring Cole up.

    Better:
    • She did her best to give the support that was needed to bring Cole up.

    Better still:
    • She does her best to give the support that is needed to bring Cole up.

    Re:
    • The scene where Mrs Holland was screaming and going hysterical to his husband over the issue on which school Cole should attend was memorizing.

    Better:
    • The scene where Mrs Holland is screaming and getting hysterical with her husband over the issue about which school Cole should attend is mezmerizing.


    It is presented in an interesting way, but there are writing problems. One thing you need to do is make more paragraphs.

    Don't double-space everything when you post it.

    Are you reading this? Do you find my analysis helpful?

    :)

    [Edited for typo.]

  9. #9
    tofu Guest

    Default

    defintely helpful...thx!

  10. #10
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    Do you have any questions? :)

    (I edited my previous post to fix a typo.)

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