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  1. #1
    Anonymous Guest

    Default thesis/hypothesis

    do u think my hypthesis is good? how can i make it sound better? is there any stuff i could add that could add a little discussion to it? does it cleary answer my thesis question?

    this is my thesis:
    Is there a relationship between watching violence on T.V and committing violence?

    this is my hypothesis:

    I strongly believe that TV violence does affect people in committing violence in the outside world. Children, especially, can’t tell the difference between what is real or fiction. Exposure to TV violence increases aggression among children and adults because violence increases excitation. As a result, people who are exposed to TV violence are more prone to committing violence.

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default

    I'm about to goout, so I haven't got the time to look at it properly- I'll try later. The first thing I'd say is tochange 'can't' to 'cannot'.

  3. #3
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default

    It's pretty spare. Make it clear that the relationship you are talking about is a cause and effect relationship.

    :)

  4. #4
    tofu Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee
    It's pretty spare. Make it clear that the relationship you are talking about is a cause and effect relationship.

    :)
    what do u mean "its pretty spare"

    does it mean it is vague?

  5. #5
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    Default Just few thoughts

    I do think he means it is pretty vague…

    Dear ss3,
    Before trying to write about violence, violent people, children and their correlation with violent T.V. programs, I would like to ask you some basic questions: for who are you writing this paper? Is it an academic paper or just leisure writing? Why are you writing it? How long does this paper has to be? What is the subject you are studying? And from what point of view (discipline) do you want to tackle this paper? If you will be able to answer thoroughly to these questions, then you will have given yourself the answers to your own questions.

    In your hypothesis you are saying that: ‘I strongly believe that TV violence does affect people in committing violence in the outside world.’ And then you assert that children being “naïve” they cannot understand the differences between fiction and real life, and as your conclusion you just say that the visual effects of violence increases excitation and ergo this is the main reason of violence in society. Now my question, again, are: what makes you believe so strongly that television is one of the main causes of violence? though reading your hypothesis, one could even think that is the only reason of violence. What research have you carried out before hypothesising this? How can you back up your argument?

    For the history of violence and the origins of violent and aggressive behaviour have been studied for many years now; and of curse many great scholars of different disciplines have devoted their efforts to come up with some accurate reasons to explain this particular behaviour; and yet none of them have managed to come up with a single answer and no absolute conclusion have been reached. From a psychological, medical, sociological and anthropological point of view It is generally accepted that it results from a complex interaction of variables, by this it is meant that one has to take into consideration the space and power factor, which can include the origins, the culture, the background, the status, the level of education, the class one belongs to, any medical history, family abuses, on what values one has grown up, what kind of friends does this person has, is it a he or a she, and so on.

    While all these above mentioned disciplines interest me greatly, I am, however, more prone towards Philosophy, literature and history, and my very first question to your argument is how and why does mass media influence people? In particular, how and why does television violence cause aggression (if indeed it does)? Looking back in time (not too far back, just a couple of thousand years) one can see that your same problem troubled Aristotle, and the same essential questions were asked about drama acted by live actors in theatrical presentations. For he suggested that drama was effective and desirable because of "catharsis." This meant that the audience becomes psychologically involved with the story on stage, even though they know it is only fiction, and that when aggression climaxes among the actors, there is a "catharsis" or release of pressure in the audience, which is pleasurable to experience and leaves them cleansed, uplifted, and less likely to act violently themselves. Whereas, Sigmund Freud, who having modified this theory, says that: ‘Unless people were allowed to express themselves aggressively, the aggressive energy would be dammed up, pressure would build, and the aggressive energy would seek an outlet, either exploding into acts of extreme violence or manifesting itself as symptoms of mental illness But there is no direct evidence for this conclusion’ (Aronson, 1995, p.258).

    Moreover, in both classical and contemporary literature acts of violence are describe, time after time, as almost great action, or at least have been described with such a flowery prose that one can enjoy them without being aroused to commit any of these acts. Ovid’s poems, for example, makes us even like violence, Virgil’s works narrates about great fights and bloodsheds, Proust and his oeuvre, the work of the Russian writers: Gogol, Tolstoy or Salamov just to mention a few.

    And although, I have not given a proper answer to my very first question, another question has come up in my little head, which is: besides the ambiguities in linking violence on television with actual violent acts in real life, it is not clear what we really mean by violence, or a violent behaviour? Arson in this regards tells us that: ‘the same term is used regarding the Boston Strangler, a football tackle, a "go-getter" insurance salesperson, a little girl who "clobbers" her brother, a passive aggressive husband sulking in the corner of a party, a child who wets the bed, a jilted boyfriend who threatens suicide or a student persistently struggling with a math problem’ (Aronson, 1995, p.249).

    Not answering properly to my second question as well, I am indeed rushing towards some very brief conclusions, conclusions which are not about television and real-life violence, but conclusion which I have come up while looking at your question and at your hypothesis, and while I cannot give you the reasons of the interaction between television programs and street violence or how children are affected by tv programs, I can surely tell you that your hypothesis needs a lot more work, a lot more analysis, and you can, indeed, better it much more than what it is now, dear ss3 there are a lot of “stuff” that you could add, which would make it a lot more clearer, for example: doing a cross search and looking into both scientific and humanity disciplines and finding out all the arguments in favour or against your hypothesis, looking for quotes to back up your theory would be another sensible thing to do and so on and so on…

  6. #6
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default

    When I said It's pretty spare I meant there isn't much there. As Italianbrother pointed out in his rather thorough posting (albeit indirectly), violence has been around a long time. People were committing violent acts in fact and in fiction long before television was invented.

    I want you to do more than state your opinion. I want you to convince me. Give me some evidence for a causal connection between television violence and real violence. Tell me why I should believe television violence and actual violence are connected in some way. I need more than just a theory or opinions. I know there is violence on television. How does watching violence on television cause somebody to commit violent acts?

    I just finished watching Odysseus on the Scifi Channel. There was much violence in that movie. It hasn't made me want to shoot anybody with an arrow.

    :)

  7. #7
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    Default a short footnote...

    I do thoroughly agree with RonBee, and I believe that he has made exactly the point. You have to convince us with some sound proofs that will back up your opinions. I have opinions and theories on many arguments, but thesis, and especially academic one, cannot be written with mere opinions and hypothesis, they must be backed up with a sound and thorough research.

    Just to add a short footnote to what I wrote yesterday: some time ago my friends and I we watched Tarantino’s Kill Bill, which is full of violence and bloodshed, now my question is why neither my friends, nor I, and nor those thousands of people, after having come out from the cinema, went on a killing spree? While I am sure that among those who watched it there might have been someone who thought: “Umm cool stuff! I wouldn’t mind chopping limbs, cut throats, and bath in their blood!” Even more, someone might have even stopped to buy a Japanese sword, and one of those who bought the sword, could even go for a killing spree. And yet, if Kill Bill could seem the trigger of his actions, I can guarantee you that it is not the only cause. For his actions would be caused because of a combination of the following factors:

    Predisposing Factors

    · Neurophysiological problems
    · Cognitive problems
    · Psychiatric disorders
    · Sociocultural expectations
    · Observational learning
    · Reinforcement of violence and aggression
    · Being victimized
    · Emotional deprivation

    Early Predictors of Violent Behavior

    · Past violence
    · Being victim of abuse
    · Violent parent or sibling
    · Cruelty to animals
    · Pyromania (fire-setting)
    · Temper tantrums
    · Verbal aggression

    Opportunity Factors

    · Release from incarceration
    · Reduction of supervision
    · Cessation of medication
    · Presence of potential victim
    · Availability of a weapon (especially a firearm)

    Precipitating Events

    · Disruption of love relationship
    · Substance abuse
    · Insults to self-esteem
    · Invasion of personal space
    · Instruction from another
    · Frustration
    · Aversive treatment

    Family Factors Associated with Youth Violence

    · Inadequate management skills
    · Coercion
    · Noncompliance
    · Harsh discipline
    · Inconsistent discipline
    · Limited supervision
    · Parental distance and uninvolvement
    · Parental pathology and limitations
    · Stressful external events

    Factors Contributing to School Violence

    · Violence in society (and the reporting of violence in the media)
    · Availability of weapons
    · Family and cultural influences
    · Drug traffic
    · Racial conflict
    · Gang/cult/group influences
    · Failure of the juvenile justice system
    · Inadequacy of school "structure"

    Conditions That Exacerbate Aggression/Violence

    · Crowding
    · Irritating noise
    · Boredom
    · Unsocialized group members
    · Rewards for aggression
    · Unskilled staff (or too few or too easily intimidated)

    Hence, if what you are writing is for an academic purpose, than you have to take much into consideration.


    I include a very short bibliography that might be helpful.

    Aronson, E., The Social Animal, New York: W.H. Freeman and Co., 7th
    Edition, 1995



    Bandura, A., Aggression: A social learning analysis, Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall, 1973


    Berkowitz, L., "Violence in the mass media", in Berkowitz, L., Aggression: a social psychological analysis, New York: McGraw-Hill, 1962

    Karpf, J. & Karpf, E., Anatomy of a Massacre, Texas: WRS Publishing, 1994

    Mander, J., Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television, New York: Quill, 1978

  8. #8
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: thesis/hypothesis

    Quote Originally Posted by ss3
    Children, especially, can’t tell the difference between what is real or fiction. Exposure to TV violence increases aggression among children and adults because violence increases excitation. As a result, people who are exposed to TV violence are more prone to committing violence.
    I think it is a bit overstating it to say that children cannot tell fact from fiction. They might blur the two at certain points and they might not have the same distinction an adult has, but the children I know can distinguish reality from fiction at times.

    The following sentence needs a bit of work because it changes the tackof the argument. The inclusion of adults does not follow on from the statement about children. If adults are increasingly violent as a consequence of TV violence, then the cause must be different as they are logically excluded from the statement about being unable to distinguish reality from fiction. In order to make a claim about adults, there really should be a reason given.

  9. #9
    Red5 is offline Webmaster, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: a short footnote...

    Nice posts ItalianBro!

    Red5
    Webmaster, UsingEnglish.com

  10. #10
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: a short footnote...

    Quote Originally Posted by Red5
    Nice posts ItalianBro!

    Indeed! They are quite well thought out.

    :D

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