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  1. #1
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    What an American Should Look Like

    What an American Should Look Like


    American is a mixed country. There are many people from different culture live together in this country. Different culture makes people think differently, and act differently. We should respect everyone’s actions whatever the way they choose. Sometimes, it’s true that there are few ways that people act are unacceptable. Still, we can’t force them to change their own way in order to make us feel comfortable.


    Jessica Mitford talks about the way American people treat a people’s dead body in her essay, “Behind the Formaldehyde Curtain.” She tells a lot of details how a dead body is processing to a beautiful “live doll” and how people act during funeral. In the last paragraph, she use word “doll” to describe how a dead body has been. It is clear that she doesn’t like the way a dead body is treaded.

    What I think is there are many ways people can deal with death. Body wax is just one of the ways. In some American culture, people burn up the dead body. And what they keep is bone powder. If Mitford doesn’t like any of these ways, she could make her own and carry forward of it. We won’t care.


    Horace Miner in his essay, “Body Ritual among the Nacirema,” describe a group of North American. Their actions are strange and hard to be understood; they care their mouth so much, and make hole on the mouth. When they are doing that, there is a special ritual activity. Miner thinks with our modern acknowledge, people could deal with some difficulties easily, but as early men, they don’t have ability to solve it. We can’t lower them down because of our high technology. We should understand them as well as our social.

  2. #2
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    Re: Help me correct my essay

    What an American Should Look Like


    American is a mixed country. There are many people from different cultureS livING together in this country. Different cultureS make people think and act differently. We should respect everyone’s actions whatever way they choose.

    It’s true that there are A few ways IN WHAT people act THAT are unacceptable.

    Still, we can’t force them to change their own way in order to make us feel comfortable.


    Jessica Mitford talks about the way American people treat a people’s dead body in her essay, “Behind the Formaldehyde Curtain.” She tells a lot of details how a dead body is processED to a beautiful “live doll” and how people act during funeral. In the last paragraph, she useS THE word “doll” to describe how a dead body has been (HAS BEEN WHAT?). It is clear that she doesn’t like the way a dead body is treaTed.

    What I think is: There are many ways people can deal with death. Body wax is just one of the ways. In some American cultureS (DIDNT GET THIS PART, ARE THERE DIFFERENT AMERICAN CULTURES? I THOUGHT ONE WAS ENOUGH ), people burn up the dead body. And what they keep is bone powder. If Mitford doesn’t like any of these ways, she cAN make her own and carry forward of/ON it. We won’t care.


    Horace Miner in his essay, “Body Ritual among the Nacirema,” describeS a group of North AmericanS. Their actions are strange and hard to be understood; they care their mouth so much, and make A hole on/IN (WHERE IS THE HOLE LOCATED?) the mouth. When they are doing that, there is a special ritual activity. Miner thinks THAT with our modern acknowledgeMENT, people could deal with some difficulties easily, but as early men, they don’t have THE ability to solve it. We can’t lower (THE VERB LOWER ALREADY GIVES THE MEANING OF CHANGING TO SOMETHING INFERIOR, DECREASE) them JUST because of our high technology.

    We should understand them as well as our social.
    THIS LAST STATEMENT YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND THEM AS 'OUR SOCIAL' OR YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND THEM AS YOU UNDERSTAND 'OUR SOCIAL'?
    Last edited by pidr1nhu; 23-Dec-2006 at 20:55.

  3. #3
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Re: Help me correct my essay

    American is a mixed country. "America is a mixed country" or "Americans are a mixed group of peoples"

    It’s true that there are A few ways IN WHAT people act THAT are unacceptable. It is true that there are ways in which people act that are unacceptable

    Jessica Mitford talks about the way American people treat a people’s dead body either "a dead body" or "dead bodies" - you do not need "person/people" here.

    She tells a lot of details how She describes in detail

    to a beautiful “live doll” to become a beautiful "live doll"

    people act during funerals

    What I think is: There are many ways people can deal with death I believe there are many ways by which people can deal with death


    people burn up the dead body. And what they keep is bone powder. people cremate the body and keep the resulting ashes.



    hard to be understood hard to understand

    with our modern acknowledgeMENT with modern knowledge

    but as early men, they don’t have THE ability to solve it. but early man did not have the ways to do so.


    Try a rewrite and let's see how you do.

  4. #4
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    Re: Help me correct my essay

    Quote Originally Posted by pidr1nhu View Post
    DIDNT GET THIS
    PART, ARE THERE DIFFERENT AMERICAN CULTURES? I THOUGHT ONE WAS ENOUGH
    I said, American culture is mixed.
    Then, "many" cultures are in the U.S. should make sence.

  5. #5
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    Re: Help me correct my essay

    America is a country of many races and many cultures. Different cultures bring fresh ideas and often behavioural differences. It is important to respect people for their diverse thinking and for the way they respond. We should encourage them to settle into the American way of life, but at the same give them time. We should be wary about condemning different races for the way they behave, if all we are seeking is to make ourselves feel a little more comfortable.

    Jessica Mitford talks about the way American people treat a person's dead body in her essay, “Behind the Formaldehyde Curtain.” She gives a lot of details of how a dead body is processed into a beautiful “live doll” and how people act during a funeral. In the last paragraph, she use the word “doll” to describe how a dead body has been. It is clear that she doesn’t like the way a dead body is treated.

    I think there are many ways people can deal with death. Body wax is just one of the ways. One common way of dealing with the disposal of the body in America is that they cremate the dead body and keep the ashes. If Mitford doesn’t like any of these ways, she could always choose her own method of disposal of the body. Although the authorities would expect a certain complaince to decency.

    Horace Miner in his essay, “Body Ritual among the Nacirema,” talks about a group of primitive North American. Their actions are strange and hard to be understood. They give great importance to their mouths, and a holy mouth man makes holes in their teeth and fills the cavities with ritual objects to arrest decay and to ensure they gain friends. Miner believes with our modern thinking people could deal with some difficulties easily, but these primitive men don’t appear to be able to solve their problems. We cannot look down on them because we have developed different technique with modern medicines to deal with illness and structures to handle social problems. We should accept that they have their ways of dealing with issues and if they want to continue, and if nobody is being abused, then they should be allowed their customs.

    This was a bit of a stinker but armed with a little information about the Nacirema I hope I have done it justice.

  6. #6
    nerdygirl610 is offline Newbie
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    Re: Help me correct my essay

    Just to point out - You are aware that the Nacirema is actually a reflection of our own, American culture?

    N-a-c-i-r-e-m-a
    A-m-e-r-i-c-a-n

    See it? It's just reversed. The writer was making an ironic commentary on the beliefs and values of the American culture. By disguising it as a seperate culture, we are able to fully look at our odd actions through the viewpoint of an outsider.

  7. #7
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    Re: What an American Should Look Like

    Quote Originally Posted by Firelord View Post
    American is a mixed country. There are many people from different culture live together in this country. Different culture makes people think differently, and act differently. We should respect everyone’s actions whatever the way they choose. Sometimes, it’s true that there are few ways that people act are unacceptable. Still, we can’t force them to change their own way in order to make us feel comfortable.


    American is a mixed country. There are many people from different cultures living together in this country. Different cultures make people think differently and act differently. We should respect the beliefs of those who are different. Sometimes it is true that there are a few ways that people act that are unacceptable. Still, we shouldn't force them to change their ways in order to make us feel comfortable.

  8. #8
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    Re: What an American Should Look Like

    Quote Originally Posted by Firelord View Post
    Jessica Mitford talks about the way American people treat a people’s dead body in her essay, “Behind the Formaldehyde Curtain.”
    Jessica Mitford talks about the way American people treat a person’s dead body in her essay, “Behind the Formaldehyde Curtain.”

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