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  1. #1
    genetic is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    1
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    Can somebody check my Motivation letter?

    I've spent a long time working on this motivation letter - i am pretty sure that i've missed something, but i'm kind of a stuck right now. It would be great If someone gives his opinion about structure, gramatical errors etc. Thanks in advance.

    Mr. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    xxx
    CELL: 00 xxxxxxxx e-mail: EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead


    January X, 2007

    Director of Personel
    Address

    I apologize for the impersonal greeting. I wanted to address this cover letter to you by name but it was not provided online and I was unable to obtain it.

    Dear Sir,

    Strong Communication Skills, Highly Motivated in becoming a Profesional, Hard-Working with Attention to Detail

    My name is xxxxxxxx and I am writing to express my interest in a summer internship with xxxxxxxx. I have a real passion for this industry and I would like to come back later on for work with you.

    I wanted you to know I have taken some time to research your hotel and I am very impressed. I am currently studying the Bachelor’s of Business Administration in Hospitality Management and am looking forward to gain experience in one of the world’s top hotels.

    My strong communication skills as well as the attention to detail are truly my strong suit. I am eager to show that my intelligence, hard-work, maturity, and enthusiasm will be a positive contribution to your company. I welcome the challenge to perform multiple activities.

    Sincerely yours,


    xxxxxxx

    CELL: xxxxxxxxxxx
    E-mail: EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead

    P.S. Thank you in advance for your consideration in what I have to offer. I look forward to contact with you and will follow up next weeks to make sure you’ve received my documents if I don’t receive a response from you earlier.

    Enclosure: Resume

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    20
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    Re: Can somebody check my Motivation letter?

    Congratulations Genetic, your letter is great. I'm an intermediate English student, I think you´re in a level more advanced than mine, but every help is worthy, don't you agree with me?
    When you wrote :I am eager to show that my intelligence, hard-work, maturity, and enthusiasm will be a positive contribution to your company. I think these adjectives would take all the sentences to the plural, what do you think? In my opinion it should be: I am eager to show that ... enthusiasm would contribute positively to your company.

    Happy new year.

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