Results 1 to 8 of 8
  1. #1
    taren is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    3
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default want someone to edit my short article

    Using computers as a part of classroom teaching can consolidate what students learn from the lessons. Since teachers can upload their teaching materials to the Internet for students to download so that students won't miss any key points.

    The advantages of computers may not be benefited to some students who do not have computers. For this reason, these students cannot ensure that they haven't miss any key points.

    Firstly, painting is a hobby for people to relax and fun. It should be done in spare time instead of in the school curriculum.

    Secondly, painting is a talent which cannot be taught. Therefore, it is a waste of time and money teaching it to most students.

    Lastly, everyone has different views on the definition of good art. In other words, it cannot be graded fairly.

    All in all, painting is just a hobby and it is a talent which cannot be taught. Moreover, it cannot be graded fairly. Therefore, painting should not be taught at school.

  2. #2
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    19,448
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: want someone to edit my short article

    Can you explain the relationship of the paragraphs on computers and their value to the paragraphs on painting?

  3. #3
    taren is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    3
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: want someone to edit my short article

    there is no relationship between each articles but l want someone to edit my articles.
    can someonr help me?

  4. #4
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    19,448
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: want someone to edit my short article

    Thank you for explaining. It wasn't clear in your headline.

    Article 1

    Using computers as a part of classroom teaching can consolidate what students learn from the lessons, because tachers can upload their teaching materials to the Internet for students to download so that students won't miss any key points.

    The advantages of computers is of no benefit to students who do not have computers. For this reason: these students cannot ensure that they haven't miss any key points.

    Article 2

    Firstly, painting is a hobby to help people relax and have fun. It should be done in their spare time instead of in the school curriculum.

    Secondly, painting is a talent which cannot be taught. Therefore, it is a waste of time and money teaching it to most students.

    Lastly, everyone has different views on the definition of good art. In other words, it cannot be graded fairly.

    All in all, painting is just a hobby and it is a talent which cannot be taught. Moreover, it cannot be graded fairly. Therefore, painting should not be taught at school.


  5. #5
    taren is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    3
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: want someone to edit my short article

    thank you very much!
    where are you come from?
    are you a teacher or student?
    are you always have spare time to correct article from this forum?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    93
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: want someone to edit my short article

    Quote Originally Posted by taren View Post
    thank you very much!
    where are you come from?
    are you a teacher or student?
    are you always have spare time to correct article from this forum?

    Taren, ALL English sentences ALWAYS start with capital letters. There are NO exceptions to this basic rule.

    Next, your final sentence should have read, "Do you always have spare time to correct articles . . . . "

  7. #7
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    16,571
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: want someone to edit my short article

    Anglika's editing was quite good, but he did miss something.

    Say:
    they haven't missed any key points
    ~R

  8. #8
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    19,448
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: want someone to edit my short article

    oops

Similar Threads

  1. Can anyone edit my article
    By hulkman1 in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 21-Feb-2006, 10:54
  2. [Proofread please] Analysis of a magazine article
    By johan_vm in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 08-Jun-2005, 04:29
  3. can somone please edit this short reflection
    By Anonymous in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 01-Mar-2004, 02:17

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •