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  1. #1
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    A decent writing, or a verbose one ?

    "As a youngster born in the late 1980s, I am indeed heartened to muse over this interesting cover story, which offers useful insights into the aspirations of the young generation in Vietnam. Lucid, objective and well-substantiated, the article represents a radical departure from the conventional diatribes pervading the media for years, which tend to associate our generation with inexorable slips in moral standards, a reckless propensity to squander away hefty amounts of money, as well as a waning fighting spirit and hunger for success. While there is no denying that these traits are evident in some Vietnamese youngsters nowadays, to remark that they characterize the youth in our society is indubitably sweeping, and the writer has, in my opinion, successfully steered clear of making such sweeping and unqualified generalizations, which are susceptible to flaws.
    This being the case, I would like to express my gratitude to your editorial team for this immensely satiating article and look forward to reading more of your offerings, which I believe will be just as comprehensive and considered."


    I find this letter on an English-language magazine published in VN. It was written by a Vietnamese reader. I wonder if you, native speakers, think of it ? A decent piece of writing, a little over-the-top one, or a wordy and too formal one ?

  2. #2
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    Re: A decent writing, or a verbose one ?

    "As a youngster born in the late 1980s, I took some interest in reading this interesting cover story, which offers some useful insights into the thinking of the younger generation in Vietnam… Lucid, objective and well-substantiated, the article represents a radical departure from the conventional diatribe that has dominated our media for many years. The tendency has been to associate our generation with inexorable slips in moral standards, a reckless propensity to squander away hefty amounts of money, and a waning fighting spirit and hunger for success. While there is no denying that these traits are evident in some Vietnamese youngsters nowadays, to remark that they characterize the youth in our society is certainly sweeping, and the writer has, in my opinion, successfully steered clear of making such wide, flawed and unqualified generalizations. This being the case, I would like to express my gratitude to your editorial team for this interesting article and look forward to reading more of your offerings, which I believe will be just as comprehensive and considered."

    A bit wordy and floral

  3. #3
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    Re: A decent writing, or a verbose one ?

    So, should I learn from this ? I want to improve my writing skill so I learns many new words. To remember them, I try to use them in my writings. However, every time I use them, I always wonder if they make my writing "wordy and floral", as you said. How can I know that when I am not a native writer?

    Some Vietnamese friends with whom I study think that the more new, complicated and absurd words they used in the their writings, the better they are. Even some Vietnamese readers also think that way. That might be why this magazine chose to post this letter in their magazine. I really can't stand some sentences which are too wordy and flashy, but only means simple ideas.

  4. #4
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    Re: A decent writing, or a verbose one ?

    Sorry, I hav eThe problem you have, and others who are obviously erudite and accomplished in the English language, is the inability to write or speak English without feeling you must use 'big' words. If you follow the rules of KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid) then you will be much more succesful.

    words like 'diatribe' and inexorable' are wonderful for showing that you 'know' more than the people you hope are reading your work. It's a fom of inverse patronisation.

    I would accept it from someone to whom English is their second language, but I would laugh if it was a native speaker.
    Last edited by curmudgeon; 13-Jan-2007 at 23:54.

  5. #5
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    Re: A decent writing, or a verbose one ?

    Quote Originally Posted by curmudgeon View Post
    words like 'diatribe' and inexorable' are wonderful for showing that you 'know' more than the people you hope are reading your work. It's a fom of inverse patronisation.
    These words can be used for good effect too, as I believe!
    Say at some point I want my reader to stop reading (grabbing) for a while and start thinking or I want to have some sort of distance with the reader or I want the reader to stumble somewhere!


    Like if I write demise and not death, the reader if he or she is sensitive enough will stop for a few moment to give the sentence a second thought!
    I believe every single word is as important to make a complete impression a comprehensive frame.


    If What I want to show = what you see or closer than you can use any word you want to express yourself.


    My profession is web content writing, and I am constantly fighting to manipulate this equation.

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