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  1. #1
    Cache is offline Junior Member
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    Default Composition about tourism

    Hi!

    Could you correct my composition? It should have CAE's level

    Thanks! ;)

    Tourism is one of the greatest activities human begin do! Tourism is expanding around the world and so are many economies which their only attraction is tourism. It is also important the cultural aspect of tourism, sharing the countries' cultures with the rest of the world.

    In Argentina, tourism is a positive activity for showing people with other customs how your country is. Lots of Brazilian people and others from neighbouring countries are coming to Argentina since they are interested in our culture, marvellous landscapes in the north and south and so on. We also receive lots of Americans who take advantage to learn Spanish in less time . As you see, tourism is sharing our culture with many countries, and even with far away such as USA, France, Germany, Japan, etcetera.


    Tourism is also helping under-development country to grow offering the natural beauty of their landscapes and people's customs, which vary from country to country. In Argentina what attracts many tourists is the Tango. It is an energetic dance whose best singer was, without a doubt, Carlos Gardel. In addition, Argentina has many well-known players around the world and a great passion for football, the most played in the world. Another favourable effect of tourism is the economic one which makes countries with attractions, but not developed, improved.

    In summary, Tourism is a beneficial activity, especially for those cultures which may not be economically developed or are willing to show their customs all the world.

  2. #2
    rancher247's Avatar
    rancher247 is offline Member
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    Default Re: Composition about tourism

    Tourism is one of the greatest activities human beings (not the best word choice, but it's your paper) do! Tourism is expanding around the world and so are many economies where it is the main attraction. It is also important the cultural aspect of tourism, sharing the countries' cultures with the rest of the world. (awk, consider changing it to: "It also is important for countries' cultures which it helps to share worldwide through this important industry" which is still awkward, but better) , Where's your thesis statement?

    In Argentina, tourism is a positive activity because, through this industry, travelers can learn about the country and its peoples' customs. Lots of Brazilian people and others from neighboring countries come to Argentina since they are interested in our culture, the marvelous landscapes in the north and south and so on (informal). We also receive lots of Americans who take advantage of the opportunity to learn Spanish in less time than.... As you see, tourism is sharing our culture with many countries, and including far-off locations (inf.) such as USA, France, Germany, Japan, etcetera. (Usually we use "etc." if it's inf.)


    Tourism also helps (developing, undeveloped, or 2nd/3rd world countries) to grow by presenting the natural beauty of their landscapes and people's customs, which vary from country to country. In Argentina the Tango attracts many people. It is an energetic dance whose best singer was, without a doubt, Carlos Gardel. Argentina also has many well-known athletes? around the world and a great passion for football, the most played in the world. Another favourable (BE?) effect of tourism is the economic benefits which improve undeveloped countries.

    In summary, tourism is a beneficial activity, especially for those cultures which may not be economically developed or are willing to show their to show their customs to the world.

    Hey sorry if I tore your essay apart!! How formal is this supposed to be? (Avoid using personal pronouns in more formal papers.)
    Anything in blue is what i'm unsure about.

  3. #3
    Cache is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Composition about tourism

    Yes, it should be formal :S:S

    I am disappointed about my performance making compositions :(

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