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  1. #1
    Anonymous Guest

    Difficult sentences to edit

    Kindly indicate whether the folowing sentences are correct :-

    1. There is plenty of parking and not that much traffic . OR

    There is a plenty of parking space and the traffic flow is very little.

    2. Does spending a meaningful day filled with fun with your
    schoolmates at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu sound appealing to you ?

    OR
    Is the spending of a meaningful day filled with fun with your school
    mates at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu sounds appealing to you ?

    3. What were the objectives of the 2003 World Memory Championship
    and do you feel that the objectives have been fulfilled over the past
    three days in Singapore ?

    OR
    What were the objectives of the World Memory Championship and
    do you think that the objectives had or were fulfilled over the past
    three days in Singapore ?

    NOTE : FOR THE ABOVE SENTENCE, WE WANT TO QUOTE WHAT THE PERSON HAD TOLD US DURING INTERVIEW .

    4. For novices, do not be intimidated by the towering climbing wall, there are highly-qualified and skilled instructors who are ever ready and willing to share with you the proper climbing techniques and how to use the climbing equipment.

    5. After a -45 pleasant journey by bus from Queenstown, another 3.49km journey by cable car to the top of the mountain at a maximum speed of 6 metres per second takes the students through a breathtaking view of well-preserved and verdant raintree forests from the skyline. Besides that , the movements of South East Asia's longest and world's fastest cable car provide the pragmatic science to the students.

    6. Since September 2002 , the eco-tourism programme has attracted youngsters from 200 colleges .

    OR
    Since September 2002 , the eco-tourism programme attracted youths from 200 colleges.

    7. As requested by you the other day, the following are the pertinent particulars for your record .

    8. Did you benefit from playing football in any other way ? OR

    Have you benefited in any other way from playing football ?

  2. #2
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    There is plenty of parking and not that much traffic
    OK
    There is a plenty of parking space and the traffic flow is very little.
    • There is a plenty of parking space and the traffic flow is very light.

    Does spending a meaningful day filled with fun with your
    schoolmates at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu sound appealing to you ?
    It is a little awkward, but it is, I think, grammatical. Try:
    • Does spending a meaningful, fun-filled day with your schoolmates at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu sound appealing to you?

    Is the spending of a meaningful day filled with fun with your school mates at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu sounds appealing to you ?
    No.
    What were the objectives of the 2003 World Memory Championship and do you feel that the objectives have been fulfilled over the past three days in Singapore ?
    That is good except I would put a comma after Championship, and you have left the QM out on its own.

    NOTE : FOR THE ABOVE SENTENCE, WE WANT TO QUOTE WHAT THE PERSON HAD TOLD US DURING INTERVIEW .
    Delete had there. Say the interview. Do not space before a period (full stop).

    For novices, do not be intimidated by the towering climbing wall, there are highly-qualified and skilled instructors who are ever ready and willing to share with you the proper climbing techniques and how to use the climbing equipment.
    • Do not be intimidated by the towering climbing wall. There are highly-qualified instructors who are ready and willing to explain the proper climbing techniques and tell you how to use the climbing equipment.

    Or:
    • To novices:

      Do not be intimidated by the towering climbing wall. There are highly- qualified instructors who are ready and willing to explain the proper climbing techniques and tell you how to use the climbing equipment.

    After a -45 pleasant journey by bus from Queenstown, another 3.49km journey by cable car to the top of the mountain at a maximum speed of 6 metres per second takes the students through a breathtaking view of well-preserved and verdant raintree forests from the skyline.
    • After a pleasant, 45km journey by bus from Queenstown, another 3.49km journey by cable car to the top of the mountain at a maximum speed of 6 metres per second takes the students to a place where there is a breath-taking view of a well-preserved rainforest.

    Since September 2002 , the eco-tourism programme has attracted youngsters from 200 colleges .
    Don't space before either a period or a comma.

    Since September 2002 , the eco-tourism programme attracted youths from 200 colleges.
    • Since September 2002 , the eco-tourism programme has attracted students from 200 colleges.

    As requested by you the other day, the following are the pertinent particulars for your record .
    • In response to your request, the following are the pertinent particulars for your record.

    What are pertinent particulars?

    Did you benefit from playing football in any other way ?
    • Did you benefit from playing football in any other way?

    Have you benefited in any other way from playing football ?
    • Have you benefited in any other way from playing football?

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