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  1. #1
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    Request proofreading assistances

    May I request proofreading a formal messages?

    Please pm me, thank you.

  2. #2
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Re: Request proofreading assistances

    Post something.


  3. #3
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    Re: Request proofreading assistances

    Dear Students,

    Greetings! Thanks for your effort in completing writing 1last Saturday. I will get them back to you as soon as possible. This week we are getting our learning into culture, education and schooling. WE have our own culture that we grow up with and live with in our daily life. We are unique of ourselves in the society. There is no doubt that we bring ourselves into the society with the core values that are also culturally different. I see the differences as unique to our society but somehow easy to create our stereotyping. Unintentionally, we may affect our students in their learning with our stereotyping. However, WE learn from our mistakes. There is a saying: life itself is a classroom. I hope students will discuss as an adult learner into this week reading. Questions for these week reading discussions are: 1. what is culture? 2. What kind of core value should educator emphasize on transmitting to students through schooling? 3. When Kent (2006) mentioned “education and schooling as a cultural process” (p. 42), what insightful thinking did you get from education as a process of schooling in a cultural diverse society?

  4. #4
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Re: Request proofreading assistances

    1 Get rid of the exclamation mark and the extra capital letter in WE (line 2)- don't use these in formal writing.
    2 Line 2- 'we are getting our learning into...' I don't like this phrase; try 'taking our learning into'
    3 We are unique of ourselves in the society- We are all unique???
    4 we bring ourselves into the society with the core values that are also culturally different- we bring core values that are culturally different into our society
    5 but somehow easy to create our stereotyping- somehow easily lead to stereotyping
    5 as an adult learner into this week reading discuss this week's reading in an adult manner???
    6 these week- this week's
    7should educator - plural or 'an educator'
    7 cultural diverse- culturally

  5. #5
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    Re: Request proofreading assistances

    Thank, Tdol.

  6. #6
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Re: Request proofreading assistances

    I would like to see you use Tdol's advice to help you improve your letter, then post it here so we can comment on it.

    ~R

  7. #7
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    Re: Request proofreading assistances

    Here is my corrections

    Dear Students,

    Greetings. Thanks for your effort in completing current event critique one last Saturday. I will get them back to you as soon as possible. This week we are taking our learning into culture, education and schooling. We have our own culture that we grow up with and live with in our daily life. We are unique (delete: of ourselves) in the society. There is no doubt that we bring core values that are culturally different into our society. I see the differences as unique to our society but somehow easily lead to stereotyping. Unintentionally, we may affect our students in their learning with our stereotyping. However, we learn from our mistakes. There is a saying: life itself is a classroom. I hope students will discuss this week’s reading in an adult manner. Questions for these week’s reading discussions are: 1. what is culture? 2. What kind of core value should educators emphasize on transmitting to students through schooling? 3. When Pai, Adler, and Shadiow (2006) mentioned “education and schooling as a cultural process” (p. 39), what insightful thinking did you get from education as a process of schooling in a culturally diverse society?

  8. #8
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Re: Request proofreading assistances

    Comments.

    Thank you for your efforts ...

    I will get them back to you as soon as possible. (your papers?)


    our daily lives


    I see the differences as unique to our society, but they could also easily lead to stereotyping.
    I wouldn't tell the students to discuss the topic in an adult manner. (They might perceive that you are talking down to them.) Instead, I would tell them that the assignment is to discuss the topic. (Tdol might have better advice.)

    What kind of core values should educators emphasize in their instruction?

    ~R

  9. #9
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    Re: Request proofreading assistances

    Quote Originally Posted by me_learnEng View Post
    Here is my corrections



    Dear Students,

    Greetings. Thanks for your efforts in completing current event critique one (CEC1) last Saturday. I will get your CEC1 back to you as soon as possible. This week we are taking our learning into culture, education and schooling. We have our own culture that we grow up with and live with in our daily lives. We are unique (delete: of ourselves) in the society. There is no doubt that we bring core values that are culturally different into our society. I see the differences as unique to our society but they could also easily lead to stereotyping. Unintentionally, we may affect our students in their learning with our stereotyping. However, we learn from our mistakes. There is a saying: life itself is a classroom. I hope students will discuss this week’s reading in an adult manner. Questions for these week’s reading discussions are: 1. what is culture? 2. What kind of core values should educators emphasize on transmitting to students through schooling? 3. When Pai, Adler, and Shadiow (2006) mentioned “education and schooling as a cultural process” (p. 39), what insightful thinking did you get from education as a process of schooling in a culturally diverse society?

    [quote=RonBee;148607]Comments.

    I wouldn't tell the students to discuss the topic in an adult manner. (They might perceive that you are talking down to them.) Instead, I would tell them that the assignment is to discuss the topic. (Tdol might have better advice.)

    I mean to warn them to respect each other as to avoid conflict. This is from my previous experiences last fall. Students were conflicting with each other because of cultural values differences that discard learning.

    schooling is prefered since education is as a process. Educators are students in the course to see themselves when teaching their students in the process of learning. Instruction means more of imparting knowledge basis. Schooling would include knowledge, skills, and critical thinking. I hope to hear from you all, thanks.


    What kind of core values should educators emphasize in their instruction?
    Last edited by me_learnEng; 29-Jan-2007 at 17:18.

  10. #10
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Re: Request proofreading assistances

    OK.

    (I should have said what kinds of core values...)

    It's OK.


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