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Thread: grammar check!

  1. #11
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: grammar check!

    I would use the present tense when talking about the poetry itself. And Bob is right. Say his poetry was inspired by the beauty of nature, not too much inspired by the beauty of nature.

    ~R

  2. #12
    asad hussain is offline Member
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    Default Re: grammar check!

    ABOUT THE POET.
    William Wordsworth (17701850) was a great English romantic poet. He is known as "The Poet of Nature" and co-founder of England's Romantic Movement.He loved nature, and learned to appreciate every little thing and to see the beauty in simplicity. His poetry was inspired by the beauty of nature. His poems were descriptive and detailed. They used beautiful imagery to evoke emotions, thoughts, and feelings in their readers. He wanted the reader to feel what he felt.


    OK. now?

  3. #13
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    Default Re: grammar check!

    Very good!

  4. #14
    asad hussain is offline Member
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    Default Re: grammar check!

    Thanks a lot, Bob and RonBee.

  5. #15
    asad hussain is offline Member
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    Default Re: grammar check!

    Tdol (/Richard) pointed out some mistakes. Could you please tell me how to fix them too?


    P.S. Aren't there any mistakes left to correct?

  6. #16
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    Default Re: grammar check!

    Quote Originally Posted by asad hussain View Post
    13) How can the heart dance?

    Imagining the daffodils vividly enough and with his heart and soul brings your senses and emotions into play, his deep mind doesn't know the difference between that imagined event and an actual one. And his heart starts dancing.


    I think you should cut some of it out. And don't mix your pronouns. Try:
    Imagining the daffodils vividly enough brings his senses and emotions into play until he cannot tell the difference between an imagined event and a real one. And his heart starts dancing.


    Quote Originally Posted by asad hussain View Post
    Imagining something vividly enough and with your heart and soul will bring your senses and emotions into play, your deep mind doesn't know the difference between that imagined event and an actual one. And the heart starts dancing.


    Try:
    Imagining something vividly enough will bring your senses and emotions into play until you cannot tell the difference between an imagined event and an actual one.
    The words real and actual do pretty much the same thing, so use either one.

    Prefer He was known as to He was known to be.


    Say:
    The simple things in life can enrich our lives if we allow them to.

  7. #17
    asad hussain is offline Member
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    Default Re: grammar check!

    Hello everyone, I apologize that I didn't put the poem.

    Here is the link to the poem

    530. Daffodils. William Wordsworth. The Oxford Book of English Verse

    Imagining the daffodils vividly enough and with his heart and soul brings his senses and emotions into play, his deep mind doesn't know the difference between that imagined event and the actual one. And his heart starts dancing.


    OK now?

  8. #18
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    Default Re: grammar check!

    I read the poem, and it's quite evocative. One can imagine being a cloud floating over a field of daffodils.

    As for your revision, well, naturally, I prefer my suggestion. Of course, sooner or later you are going to have to be the one to decide what words to use. In the end you will have to decide what you feel most comfortable with. As for what I prefer, it would be him rather than his deep mind. (I am sure what the one means, but I am not at all sure what the other means.)

    I can tell you what I prefer, but you have to make the final decision. (Thus my oft-asked question: What do you think?)

    ~R

  9. #19
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    Default Re: grammar check!

    Quote Originally Posted by asad hussain View Post
    Please look at the answers for any grammar mistakes, and weird sentences.

    1) What was the poet doing?
    ·He was wandering around. Wandering around where? This sounds a little strange.

    2) What did he see?
    ·He saw a field of daffodils. Fine, but could you include any more details?

    3) Where were the daffodils?
    ·They were beside the lake, under the boughs of the trees. Unless this is supposed to be poetic-ish, say "tree branches" or just "near the trees."

    4) With what does the poet compare the daffodils?
    ·He compares the daffodils with the stars. This sounds fine.

    5) Why does the speaker connect daffodils with the stars?
    ·He does so for several reasons. First, their shape. The petals mimic the shape of a star. Second, their number. The stars are infinite; the daffodils are abundant. Third, their color. They're golden, and shimmer like the stars.

    6) What resemblance does he find between the stars and the daffodils?
    ·Their gleam, flow, abundance, and continuity

    7) How many flowers were there?
    ·There was a long belt of about ten thousand flowers.

    8) Which of the two danced more: the waves or the daffodils?
    ·The daffodils danced more. (Make it a complete sentence.)

    9) What did the poet feel looking at the daffodils?
    ·He couldn’t help but feel gay. He felt very happy.

    10) How can wealth come to the poet by looking at the scene before him?
    ·The "crowd" of the daffodils comes his way offering warmth, spiritual wealth, richness and value. He realizes the true wealth of the daffodils, when his inner eye recalls back to the time of happiness with them when he felt depressed in his normal state of mind. I don't see any necessary changes.

    11) What happens to the poet when he lies on his couch?

    ·The thought of the dancing daffodils gives him the same pleasure and excitement that he experienced long ago. Whenever he feels "vacant" or "pensive," the memory flashes upon "that inward eye / That is the bliss of solitude," and his heart fills with pleasure, "and dances with the daffodils."

    12) Mention the two moods of the poet.
    ·Lonely (i.e., as a cloud) and Happy (i.e., gay)
    I think most of what you've written is fine. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.

  10. #20
    asad hussain is offline Member
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    Default Re: grammar check!

    Thanks a lot Rancher. Could you please look at next questions too? (13-17)

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