Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 31

Thread: grammar check!

  1. #21
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    16,571
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: grammar check!

    Re:
    Imagining the daffodils vividly enough brings his senses and emotions into play until he cannot tell the difference between an imagined event and a real one. And his heart starts dancing.
    In my opinion, that's the best you can do. Simple and effective. There is no reason to confuse the reader with gobbledegook. (What's the difference between his deep mind and him?) In any case, if you have any more questions, post the revised text here, and I will comment on it.

    ~R

  2. #22
    asad hussain is offline Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    433
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: grammar check!

    Many many thanks for your help, RonBee. I am so grateful to you.


    Imagining the daffodils vividly enough brings his senses and emotions into play until he cannot tell the difference between
    the imagined event and the real one. And his heart starts dancing.



    I am confused about the insertion of determiners. Don't you think "the" would work well, because the events are known?
    Last edited by asad hussain; 31-Jan-2007 at 21:35.

  3. #23
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    16,571
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: grammar check!

    Well, I know you need them (the determiners, that is), but I am not sure how to explain why. For me, it just feels right. But I realize that is not really an explanation. I suppose Tdol can give you an explanation that will satisfy you.

    It's hard for me to explain why, but I think it's just perfect.

    Perhaps we'll get some more opinions.

    ~R

  4. #24
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Philippines
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Posts
    42,515
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: grammar check!

    With the determiners, I think the indefinite article could be used to show that this visualisation achieves a general state of sensory confusion. With the definite articles, there's a problem with the second- which event?

  5. #25
    asad hussain is offline Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    433
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: grammar check!

    Many many many many thanks for your help, Ronbee and Tdol!

    Tdol, but I feel it's not any general state of sensory confusion, since the imagined event and the real/actual event are known. And it's clear from the poem which two events he can't tell the difference between. Chancing upon the daffodils is the first event (that is mentioned in the poem), and imagining the encounter with the daffodils when he lies on his couch (that's also mentioned.), is the second event. I feel that using indefinite articles insinuates that he isn't able to make the difference between any imagined event and any real event(not the events which took place in the poem),when he thinks of the daffodils.

    Please please please again look at the poem for me, and tell me which articles are suitable there. I am very very very very confused. I am again putting the poem down here, and the answer as well.


    I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud

    I Wandered lonely as a cloud
    That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
    When all at once I saw a crowd,
    A host, of golden daffodils;
    Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
    Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.


    Continuous as the stars that shine
    And twinkle on the milky way,
    They stretched in never-ending line
    Along the margin of a bay:
    Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
    Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.


    The waves beside them danced; but they
    Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
    A poet could not but be gay,
    In such a jocund company:
    I gazed--and gazed--but little thought
    What wealth the show to me had brought:


    For oft, when on my couch I lie
    In vacant or in pensive mood,
    They flash upon that inward eye
    Which is the bliss of solitude;
    And then my heart with pleasure fills,
    And dances with the daffodils.


    Q. How can the heart dance?

    Ans. Imagining the daffodils vividly enough brings his senses and emotions into play until he cannot tell the difference between an/the/that imagined event and a/the real one. And his heart starts dancing.

  6. #26
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    16,571
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: grammar check!

    Don't be confused. Choose the/the, and the reader should experience no confusion over what is meant.

    You're doing a good job. Don't worry!


  7. #27
    asad hussain is offline Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    433
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: grammar check!

    Many many thanks, RonBee!!!

  8. #28
    asad hussain is offline Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    433
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: grammar check!

    One more thing that I asked, but no one has answered yet. I asked whether I should answer the question in particular (i.e. Imagining the daffodils vividly enough brings his senses and emotions into play until he cannot tell the difference between the imagined event and the real one. And his heart starts dancing.). or in general (i.e. Imagining something vividly enough will bring your senses and emotions into play until you cannot tell the difference between an imagined event and an actual one.) since itís unclear from the question whose heart is referred to. The poetís or the readerís?

  9. #29
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    16,571
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: grammar check!

    Quote Originally Posted by asad hussain View Post
    One more thing that I asked, but no one has answered yet. I asked whether I should answer the question in particular (i.e. Imagining the daffodils vividly enough brings his senses and emotions into play until he cannot tell the difference between the imagined event and the real one. And his heart starts dancing.). or in general (i.e. Imagining something vividly enough will bring your senses and emotions into play until you cannot tell the difference between an imagined event and an actual one.) since itís unclear from the question whose heart is referred to. The poetís or the readerís?
    Well, I like the first one better. My interpretation is that we are supposed to be seeing things from the poet's viewpoint. Indeed, that is the whole idea of a poem--to enable us to see things from the poet's viewpoint.

    I hope that helps. (Sorry for taking so long.)

    ~R

  10. #30
    asad hussain is offline Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    433
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: grammar check!

    Oh! Thanks a lot, RonBee. I am so thankful to you.

    Yes, it has definitely helped me a lot. It was the last thing that was confusing me.

    I just can't thank you in words.

Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Is there a grammar of spoken English?
    By M56 in forum General Language Discussions
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 09-Feb-2009, 00:58
  2. Pls. check my grammar & statement.
    By anasiants in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 28-Aug-2006, 04:04
  3. please check my grammar
    By bbmak in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-Aug-2006, 11:58
  4. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 31-Oct-2004, 07:28

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Hotchalk