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  1. #1
    Anonymous Guest

    Edit my story-immediate request

    Dear English experts, Please edit the following story.

    Over the years, Power (the name of a team ) has been a faithful sponsor of running and walking events in the country.
    In 199, Power took its role in promoting the middle distance running a step further with Power Run.
    Again the backdrop of Dataran Square( name of a place in a city ), the sixth edition of Power Run took place on March 14 this year and it drew a huge field of 4,000 runners.
    Arul Thevar ( name of person ) marked his return from a knee injury when he blitzed the men's 10km field in 34 minutes and 44 seconds ahead of S.Ganesan and Paul Thompson to achieve a hattrick.
    Meanwhile , Yuan Yufang ( runner) won the women's 10km race in 41 minutes and 39 seconds.

    G.Toiahlan's dominance in the men's 7km senior veteran ensured that Team Power skippered by U. Vicknewaran ( name of runn er ) secured a top podium finish in their home turf race.
    About 1,500 school children took part in four categories ( men's 7km, women's 7km, school boys and school girls 5km).
    Power Run is intended to encourage youngsters to take up running.It is also an effort to unearth middle distance runners. Hence, the 5km and 7km races are selected according to the recomnmendations by the Federal Territory Amateur Athletics Association.It i s proven to be the ideal distances catering to the age-group.
    "Every year, we spend about RM1 million as part and parcel of our contributions towards running and walking related events.We want to help to develop these events to a higher level in terms of organisation , the quality of the field and increase in number of participants. We are happy and proud that more and more people are coming in droves to run every weekends in various runs organised especially in the Klang Valley, " said James Selvaraj , the regional Power brand manager.
    For Power, there is a greater satisfaction than seeing peoiple from all walks of life taking part in the run along with their families and friends on a Sunday morning.
    Above all, it is about benchmarking its position as a leader in promoting this healthy lifestyle through running.
    " Although we spend $100,000 to organise an event that lasts for few hours, this community event is a way for us to express our gratitude to our loyal and faithful customers who have accepted the brand," James added.
    It is indeed a fitting plowback exercise to Singaporeans who have
    purchased ( bought) 1 million pairs of its sports shoes annually.

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    In 199, Power took its role in promoting the middle distance running a step further with Power Run.

    That's probably 1999???

    I'd say 'took a firther step in promoting middle distance running with the Power Run'.

  3. #3
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Again the backdrop of Dataran Square( name of a place in a city ), the sixth edition of Power Run took place on March 14 this year and it drew a huge field of 4,000 runners.

    Against a backdrop...
    I wouldn't use 'edition', just say 6th Power Run
    You could replace 'and it drew' with 'this year, drawing ....'

  4. #4
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Arul Thevar ( name of person ) marked his return from a knee injury when he blitzed the men's 10km field in 34 minutes and 44 seconds ahead of S.Ganesan and Paul Thompson to achieve a hattrick.
    Perhaps:
    • Arul Thevar ( name of person ) marked his return from a knee injury when he blitzed the men's 10km field with a time of 34 minutes and 44 seconds (of S.Ganesan finishing second and Paul Thompson finishing third) to achieve a hattrick.


    What do you think?

    :)

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