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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
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    Default Mistakes in my feature writing?

    Dear teachers,

    I've written this feature hoping it would get published in my school's magazine. However, english isn't my first language and so there could be a lot of mistakes that I couldn't spot in the article.

    I would be grateful if you could help me out to look for any possible mistakes. Thanks a lot!

    Regards,
    Kenneth

    ----

    YOUNG and with an enterprising mind
    UM student makes it big in tuition industry

    Tuition has become so much of a necessity amongst school children that tuition centers in our country are mushrooming like never before. A decade or two ago, tuition teachers who made thousands of ringgit monthly were not only an uncommon sight in the society, but they were also respectable people perceived as having a good profession.

    However, in this era of information society, age is definitely not a hindrance anymore as just anyone could make it big in the tuition industry if they have the knowledge and the skills in teaching. At least 20-year-old Lee Khoon could prove that right by taking the next big move in his early career to register the T Square Tuition Centre he and his partner have co-run for a while at Damansara Utama.

    Lee, who is currently a second-semester student of Universiti Malaya (UM), has had four years of teaching experience. Prior to setting up the T Square, Lee used to conduct tuition classes at home, which he eventually found it too crammed as the number of students expanded.

    “Therefore the purpose of setting up the T Square is to provide more space for tuition classes,” Lee explained. “I might have been driven by the money factor when I first conducted tuition classes, but after sometime, I got to realize that teaching could be fun and enjoyable.”

    In fact the T Square—a joint venture between Lee himself and another senior lecturer of UM—has been run for virtually a year now, but they only chose to register their tuition centre in January 2007 because they couldn’t afforded to be taxed yet prior to that. At least not before things were settled down.

    Now pursuing a Bachelor of Science in Mathematics, Lee said an organized schedule is vital to him than ever before as he has to divide his time well between studying, getting involved in co-curricular activities, and teaching. “I’ve already cut down the number of classes I’m teaching this year so that I won’t get too hectic like last year,” he said.

    As of now, the T Square has approximately 250 students altogether—all of secondary level, and 15 part-time tuition teachers. Having only five to ten students for each and every tuition session is certainly an advantageous factor for both the teachers and students of the centre because it doesn’t only make the class easier to handle, but most importantly students are given optimum attention and lecture.

    When asked whether the weaker students would affect the learning progress of the rest of the class, Lee said he actually has two classes for every subject he is teaching: one for the weaker students and the other for the advanced.

    “The weaker students are naturally slow in learning—therefore it would be easier to provide them with model questions so that they get familiarized with the format,” Lee said, adding that he would at times challenge his students to solve questions by offering prizes as a form of encouragement and motivation.

    On the other hand, advanced students of the other class enjoy the privilege of getting extra if not more detailed explanations from Lee as they are able to understand and cope with new information at a faster pace. As a result, Lee has to prepare more questions for these students, who always ask for more!

    However, practically every teacher would be thronged with the common problem of having to deal with disobedient and noisy students. As for Lee, he would usually ask them to “either to keep quiet or leave the class.” He thinks that there is no point to have to lecture or scold these students because they, as young adults, should have been matured enough to behave themselves.

    With the efforts Lee and his partner have put into operating the T Square, it seems that Lee now enjoys a hefty sum of income. No—he doesn’t have to depend on his parents anymore to pay for his daily expenses; he forks out his hard-earned money instead and pays for himself.

    With the money he earns, Lee has traveled to quite a number of places including Taiwan, Hong Kong, Mascow, Thailand, Brunei, and Singapore. And if you think Lee Khoon isn’t special, well, he is only 20.
    Last edited by Kenneth; 23-Feb-2007 at 09:26. Reason: minor mistakes

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Mistakes in my feature writing?

    Can anyone please help me? Thanks SO much!

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Mistakes in my feature writing?

    Kenneth, has it not occurred to you that you are asking VOLUNTEER teachers to help you correct a text that is clearly both already of a high standard and in simple essence an advertsiement for an enterprise in the English-language industry?

  4. #4
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
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      • Philippines
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    Default Re: Mistakes in my feature writing?

    I wouldn't use the article with 'T Square' when using the shorter form of the name, but would when you add 'Centre'
    practically every teacher would be thronged with the common problem- the verb doesn't work and I am not clear what you mean here
    no point to have- in having
    traveled - you're using British and American spelling together- Centre (brE) and traveled (AE), which looks a bit inconsitent

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Mistakes in my feature writing?

    Thanks a lot Tdol :)

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