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  1. #1
    esophea is offline Member
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    Red face Edit my paragraph please

    Assignment Global Study

    Topic: Should population control be a priority for the Third world countries?


    Population growth is the big problem for this earth, nowadays. If the population increases as fast as today, the world will not have enough space to carry all people. Because of the worldís resources is limited, so some organizations are trying to find many strategies to reduce the population of the world. One of these strategies is population control which is so effective to cut down the population growth. The research shows that seventy percent of the world population is come from the third world countries. I am strongly agreed one statement said that population control should be a priority for the Third world countries. Population control brings lots of benefits to third world countries.

    Firstly, Most of the people who live in Third world countries are poor. They can earn so little money to support their living. If they have many children, it will make their living condition became worse and worse. In addition, the education in these countries are still low, that why they canít find a very good job. When people have a few children, the spending is less too.

    Secondly, Population control will improve the living standard of people. Usually, when the family is small, it will easy to control and support. Both mother and father are free from take care children, so they can manage time to work and earn money to support the family. As a result, the living condition of family will improve to be better.

    Finally, Population control can reduce the death rate of pregnancy women. As we know already that most of the people live in developing countries are poor, so they donít have much money to cure themselves. They always use the traditional medicine to cure the illness, but if the illness is serious the traditional medicine canít cure. It is the cause of pregnancy women death. Moreover, it is a very big risk when they give birth to child because there have no doctor to help them to give birth to child.

    Opponent says that population control should not priority only third world countries, but also first and second world countries because all countries in the world have equal right. However, in order to reduce the population the first priority countries that should set population control is the third world countries.

    To sum up, all the three main points that I mention above are enough to prove that third world is priority to set population control. In my opinion, population control strategic is the effective way to reduce the poverty in third world countries.

  2. #2
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Re: Edit my paragraph please

    Topic:
    Should population control be a priority for Third World countries?

  3. #3
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Re: Edit my paragraph please

    Population growth is the biggest problem in the world today. If the population continues to increase as fast as it has been, the world will eventually not have enough space for everybody. Because the worldís resources are limited, some organizations are trying to find strategies to reduce the population of the world. One of these strategies is population control, which can reduce population growth. Research shows that seventy percent of the world population lives in Third World countries. I strongly agree with one statement that said that population control should be a priority for Third world countries. Population control brings lots of benefits to Third World countries.

  4. #4
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Re: Edit my paragraph please

    Quote Originally Posted by esophea View Post
    Firstly, Most of the people who live in Third world countries are poor. They can earn so little money to support their living. If they have many children, it will make their living condition became worse and worse. In addition, the education in these countries are still low, that why they canít find a very good job. When people have a few children, the spending is less too.
    Firstly, most of the people who live in Third World countries are poor. Because they earn such low wages it is difficult for them to support their children. In addition, the education in those countries is of poor quality, and that makes job prospects poor.

  5. #5
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Re: Edit my paragraph please

    Quote Originally Posted by esophea View Post
    Secondly, Population control will improve the living standard of people. Usually, when the family is small, it will easy to control and support.
    Secondly, population control would improve living standards. Usually, when a family is small it is relatively easy to manage and support.

    Quote Originally Posted by esophea View Post
    Both mother and father are free from take care children, so they can manage time to work and earn money to support the family.
    I really don't understand that sentence.

    Quote Originally Posted by esophea View Post
    As a result, the living condition of family will improve to be better.

    Say:
    As a result, the living conditions of the family will improve.
    ~R

  6. #6
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Re: Edit my paragraph please

    Quote Originally Posted by esophea View Post
    Finally, Population control can reduce the death rate of pregnancy women. As we know already that most of the people live in developing countries are poor, so they donít have much money to cure themselves. They always use the traditional medicine to cure the illness, but if the illness is serious the traditional medicine canít cure. It is the cause of pregnancy women death. Moreover, it is a very big risk when they give birth to child because there have no doctor to help them to give birth to child.
    Finally, population control can reduce the death rate of pregnant women. Most people in developing countries are poor, so they don't have much money for medical care. They use traditional (folk) medicine to cure their illnesses, but if the illness is serious traditional medicine is likely to prove inadequate. Women in developing countries have a relatively large mortality rate from complications of pregnancy.
    Quote Originally Posted by esophea View Post
    Opponent says that population control should not priority only third world countries, but also first and second world countries because all countries in the world have equal right. However, in order to reduce the population the first priority countries that should set population control is the third world countries.
    My opponent says that population control should not be a priority only in developing countries.
    Quote Originally Posted by esophea View Post
    To sum up, all the three main points that I mention above are enough to prove that third world is priority to set population control. In my opinion, population control strategic is the effective way to reduce the poverty in third world countries.
    To sum up, I believe I have proved that population control should be a high priority in Third World countries. In my opinion, population control would be an effective way to reduce poverty in Third World countries.
    Is the reduced birth rate in developed countries a cause or a result of prosperity?

    ~R

  7. #7
    xosweetyxo33 is offline Newbie
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    Re: Edit my paragraph please

    Population growth is a for our earth, nowadays. If the population keeps increasing as fast as it is today, the world will not have enough space to support all the people because of the worldís resources is limited. Some organizations are trying to find many strategies to reduce the population of the world. One of these strategies is population control which is so effective to cut down the population growth. The research shows that seventy percent of the world population is come from the third world countries. I am strongly agreed one statement said that population control should be a priority for the Third world countries. Population control brings lots of benefits to third world countries.

    Firstly, most of the people who live in Third world countries are poor. They can earn so little money to support their living. If they have many children, it will make their living condition become worse. In addition, the education in these countries are still low, thats why they canít find a good jobs. When people have a few children, there is less spending to do.

    Secondly, population control will improve the living standard for people. Usually, when the family is small, it will be easy to control and support. Both mother and father are free from taking care of children, so they can manage time to work and earn money to support the family. As a result, the living condition of families will improve.

    Finally, Population control can reduce the death rate of pregnancy women. As we know already that most of the people live in developing countries are poor, so they donít have much money to cure themselves. They always use the traditional medicine to cure the illness, but if the illness is serious the traditional medicine canít cure the disease. It is the cause of pregnancy women death. Moreover, it is a very big risk when they give birth to child because there have no doctor to help them to give birth to the child.

    Opponents says that population control should not priority only third world countries, but also first and second world countries because all countries in the world have equal right. However, in order to reduce the population the first priority countries that should set population control is Third world countries.

    To sum this all up, all the three main points that I mentioned above are enough to prove that Third world is priority to set population control. In my opinion, population control strategic is the effective way to reduce the poverty in third world countries.



    ok i checked ur essay u kept typing Third world countries and I dont know if it is supposed to be capitilized and then towards the end u typed third world countries so i dunno u might have to look that one up ur welcome

  8. #8
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Re: Edit my paragraph please

    Quote Originally Posted by xosweetyxo33 View Post
    Population growth is a for our earth, nowadays.
    I don't understand that.

    Quote Originally Posted by xosweetyxo33 View Post
    If the population keeps increasing as fast as it is today, the world will not have enough space to support all the people because of the worldís resources is limited.







    Say:
    If the population keeps increasing as fast as it has been the world will not have enough space to support all the people, because the world's resources are limited.
    Quote Originally Posted by xosweetyxo33 View Post
    Some organizations are trying to find many strategies to reduce the population of the world. One of these strategies is population control which is so effective to cut down the population growth.


    How would you rewrite that so it makes more sense?

    Quote Originally Posted by xosweetyxo33 View Post
    The research shows that seventy percent of the world population is come from the third world countries. I am strongly agreed one statement said that population control should be a priority for the Third world countries.



    Same question as above.

    Quote Originally Posted by xosweetyxo33 View Post
    Firstly, most of the people who live in Third world countries are poor. They can earn so little money to support their living. If they have many children, it will make their living condition become worse. In addition, the education in these countries are still low, thats why they canít find a good jobs. When people have a few children, there is less spending to do.
    Again, how would you rewrite that so it makes more sense?

    Capitalization.

    Punctuation.

    ~RB


    Last edited by RonBee; 29-Apr-2007 at 07:45.

  9. #9
    bianca is offline Senior Member
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    Re: Edit my paragraph please

    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee View Post
    Population growth is the biggest problem in the world today. If the population continues to increase as fast as it has been, the world will eventually not have enough space for everybody. Because the world’s resources are limited, some organizations are trying to find strategies to reduce the population of the world. One of these strategies is population control, which can reduce population growth. Research shows that seventy percent of the world population lives in Third World countries. I strongly agree with one statement that said that population control should be a priority for Third world countries. Population control brings lots of benefits to Third World countries.
    population control 1- "birth control"

    population control 2 - having the population growth under control (or else it could have the meaning of checking the population for some reason)

    population control 3 - don't repeat, say "This can entail a great many benefits to the countries of the Third World" instead.

    in Third World countries - "in the Third World countries"

  10. #10
    bianca is offline Senior Member
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    Re: Edit my paragraph please

    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee View Post
    Population growth is the biggest problem in the world today. If the population continues to increase as fast as it has been, the world will eventually not have enough space for everybody. Because the world’s resources are limited, some organizations are trying to find strategies to reduce the population of the world. One of these strategies is population control, which can reduce population growth. Research shows that seventy percent of the world population lives in Third World countries. I strongly agree with one statement that said that population control should be a priority for Third world countries. Population control brings lots of benefits to Third World countries.
    population control 2 - "is the introduction of birth control, which can help reduce population growth" ("population control", as you wrote, is too broad an approach to refer to as strategy. Give real-life examples instead.)

    to reduce the population of the world - sounds too ambitious and even far-fetched; "to limit population increase" sounds more realistic

    population control in last sentence - irritating repetition. "This could entail a great many benefits to TW countries".
    Last edited by bianca; 29-Apr-2007 at 15:12.

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