Results 1 to 3 of 3
  1. #1
    rioga is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    1
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default grammar check please

    this is a journal entry, may i get suggestion for the grammar part. thank you
    Beauty
    “For the Greeks, beauty was a virtue: a kind of excellence” I believe this is a good definition of what some people have forgotten about beauty. Now days, it is easy to be called “beautiful or handsome” with all the modern plastic and reconstructive surgeries offered by the modern medicine; the whole subject about beauty is reaching other level of demand.
    How can I tell someone that some else is beautiful, when every human being has a different way to perceive beauty? In my opinion, every single person or object around us has a certain degree of beauty; perception is what really makes a difference, I may like some things other people may not. In one of the sentences the author implies “but we are actually surprised when someone who is beautiful is also intelligent, talented, and good.” and I agree with his statement, sometimes we underestimate those characteristics in a beautiful person, and we forget that real beauty also relies in their aptitudes; these compliment their beauty even more.
    In the enchantments of beauty, now a days, a person’s qualities have been left out for superficial looks. The superficial looks are becoming really important for most of the people I have met; they call this perfection. For me beauty in something else or as the author says “is identified with caring about what one is and does and only secondary, if at all, about how one looks.” I share her opinion.
    On the other side, I am not completely against the whole concept of beauty and looking good in the outside. I believe as the reading described “Beauty is a form of power” and “the privileges of beauty are immense”, in certain way the author is right, beauty supports self-confidence in a human being and it gives them more power to step up in situations where they think they could be rejected by their looks or perception of others.
    A Fable for Tomorrow
    The title of this reading is not far from becoming more than a fable. The author was not far from the actual situation in many regions around the world. “Mysterious maladies swept the flocks of chickens; the cattle and sheep sickened and died. Everywhere was a shadow of death.” the town the author describes, is now more real than it seemed.
    Environmental problems are increasing due to pollution caused by motor vehicles, chemical plants, power plants, and many other factors created by the human beings. There are many regions and cities around the world already affected in a great way; prairies are not green anymore and people and animals are suffering incurable diseases, for example, AIDS, Cancer, H5N1 (Influenza A Virus), and many others.
    Now days, I have seen natural events out of the ordinary like the excessive amount of hurricanes and storms striking the entire hemisphere. “Yet every one of these disasters has actually happened somewhere, and many real communities have already suffered a substantial number of them.” I remember a massive tsunami and tremors striking Indonesia and southern Thailand, and hurricane Katrina in Louisiana not too long ago.
    [FONT='Calibri','sans-serif']The following phrase expressed by the author, remarks our current worries “This imagined tragedy may easily become a stark reality we all shall know.” Currently, the government is showing more concern in regards to the environment and people are becoming aware of the once called fable, which is now becoming a crude reality. Hopefully there would be a different ending to the story and more effort will be put day by day by each one of us to make the Earth a better place to live.[/FONT]
    [FONT='Calibri','sans-serif']
    Drugs
    I have always been told by relatives; there is no need for drugs to live, therefore I share the same opinion as the author, and I do believe it is possible to stop drug addiction within a short period of time by not prohibiting. I have also heard the idea of legalizing drugs before before, but not as detailed as Gore Vidal did it in his essay.
    Drugs, in certain way are like alcohol, cigarettes, or gambling, they can even be compared to car or motorcycle’s speeding; if they are used in excess they can be really harmful. As the author implied, “some people will always become drug addicts just as some people will always become alcoholics, and it is just too bad.” if drugs become available to the public, they will not be as expensive as they are now, therefore drugs will have a reasonable price for every pocket, and most likely more people will depend on them
    Another factor that will be affected by legalizing drugs is the economy of this country and many others. Supply and demand will stabilize and huge amounts of money made by terrorists and drug dealers by exporting and selling will be lost, they will have to face another phase of terrorism that could be even worst than drugs.
    Not only the economy will be involved, there will be also many governmental institutions that could be affected, like drug enforcement agencies, these will have to disappear, but at the same time this could be contra rested by the creation and a rapid growth in the involvement of health and drug treatment institutions that will help to the treatment of drug addicts.
    In conclusion, as the reading stated “forbidding people things they like or think they might enjoy only makes them want those things all the more.” the human mind will always work like this, freedom to choose their destiny will make them aware of the consequences.
    Why Don’t We Complaint
    “I myself can occasionally summon the courage to complain but I cannot, as I have intimated, complaint softly. In certain way I relate myself with the author because sometimes I expect that some will take the matter up and do something about it on my behalf.
    Most of the people are afraid of expressing their opinion since they do not want to be rejected or judged. In this society there are things that are always going to bother someone. In many cases, most complaints occur by unwillingness of other people to offer some help or to perform their job properly.
    In my case, every time I go to certain dance clubs, it seems almost impossible to get into the place as it is to complaint. It seems like making one stand in line for a long time is a requirement to access the club, even if it is empty; workers at the clubs seem not to care about costumers. The worst part is that there is no one to complaint to.
    In the other hand, complaining can be rewarding; I was in a restaurant and the table I was seated on had a small leak from the roof falling right at the top of my table; at this time I complain with the manager and they relocated me with a 10 percent discount in the bill for the inconvenience.
    “I would speak out like a man against the unnecessary annoyances of out time” Complaining is a good technique in order to be heard; however there is a way and time to get the most of it.


    i know i am abusing, but this is my last resort before i turn them in. the class is very demanding and i am still checking four more.
    [/FONT]

  2. #2
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    16,571
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: grammar check please

    Make paragraphs!

    Quote Originally Posted by rioga View Post

    Beauty

    “For the Greeks, beauty was a virtue: a kind of excellence” I believe this is a good definition of what some people have forgotten about beauty. Now days, it is easy to be called “beautiful or handsome” with all the modern plastic and reconstructive surgeries offered by the modern medicine; the whole subject about beauty is reaching other level of demand.


    “For the Greeks, beauty was a virtue: a kind of excellence.” I believe this is a good definition of what some people have forgotten about beauty. Nowadays it is easy to be called "beautiful" or "handsome" with all the modern plastic and reconstructive surgeries offered by modern medicine. The whole subject of beauty is reaching another level of demand.

  3. #3
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    16,571
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: grammar check please

    Quote Originally Posted by rioga View Post

    Beauty

    “For the Greeks, beauty was a virtue: a kind of excellence” I believe this is a good definition of what some people have forgotten about beauty. Now days, it is easy to be called “beautiful or handsome” with all the modern plastic and reconstructive surgeries offered by the modern medicine; the whole subject about beauty is reaching other level of demand.

    How can I tell someone that some else is beautiful, when every human being has a different way to perceive beauty? In my opinion, every single person or object around us has a certain degree of beauty; perception is what really makes a difference, I may like some things other people may not. In one of the sentences the author implies “but we are actually surprised when someone who is beautiful is also intelligent, talented, and good.” and I agree with his statement, sometimes we underestimate those characteristics in a beautiful person, and we forget that real beauty also relies in their aptitudes; these compliment their beauty even more.

    In the enchantments of beauty, now a days, a person’s qualities have been left out for superficial looks. The superficial looks are becoming really important for most of the people I have met; they call this perfection. For me beauty in something else or as the author says “is identified with caring about what one is and does and only secondary, if at all, about how one looks.” I share her opinion.

    On the other side, I am not completely against the whole concept of beauty and looking good in the outside. I believe as the reading described “Beauty is a form of power” and “the privileges of beauty are immense”, in certain way the author is right, beauty supports self-confidence in a human being and it gives them more power to step up in situations where they think they could be rejected by their looks or perception of others.


    A Fable for Tomorrow

    The title of this reading is not far from becoming more than a fable. The author was not far from the actual situation in many regions around the world. “Mysterious maladies swept the flocks of chickens; the cattle and sheep sickened and died. Everywhere was a shadow of death.” the town the author describes, is now more real than it seemed.

    Environmental problems are increasing due to pollution caused by motor vehicles, chemical plants, power plants, and many other factors created by the human beings. There are many regions and cities around the world already affected in a great way; prairies are not green anymore and people and animals are suffering incurable diseases, for example, AIDS, Cancer, H5N1 (Influenza A Virus), and many others.

    Now days, I have seen natural events out of the ordinary like the excessive amount of hurricanes and storms striking the entire hemisphere. “Yet every one of these disasters has actually happened somewhere, and many real communities have already suffered a substantial number of them.” I remember a massive tsunami and tremors striking Indonesia and southern Thailand, and hurricane Katrina in Louisiana not too long ago.


    The following phrase expressed by the author, remarks our current worries “This imagined tragedy may easily become a stark reality we all shall know.” Currently, the government is showing more concern in regards to the environment and people are becoming aware of the once called fable, which is now becoming a crude reality. Hopefully there would be a different ending to the story and more effort will be put day by day by each one of us to make the Earth a better place to live.

    I have always been told by relatives; there is no need for drugs to live, therefore I share the same opinion as the author, and I do believe it is possible to stop drug addiction within a short period of time by not prohibiting. I have also heard the idea of legalizing drugs before before, but not as detailed as Gore Vidal did it in his essay.


    Drugs
    Drugs, in certain way are like alcohol, cigarettes, or gambling, they can even be compared to car or motorcycle’s speeding; if they are used in excess they can be really harmful. As the author implied, “some people will always become drug addicts just as some people will always become alcoholics, and it is just too bad.” if drugs become available to the public, they will not be as expensive as they are now, therefore drugs will have a reasonable price for every pocket, and most likely more people will depend on them

    Another factor that will be affected by legalizing drugs is the economy of this country and many others. Supply and demand will stabilize and huge amounts of money made by terrorists and drug dealers by exporting and selling will be lost, they will have to face another phase of terrorism that could be even worst than drugs.

    Not only the economy will be involved, there will be also many governmental institutions that could be affected, like drug enforcement agencies, these will have to disappear, but at the same time this could be contra rested by the creation and a rapid growth in the involvement of health and drug treatment institutions that will help to the treatment of drug addicts.
    In conclusion, as the reading stated “forbidding people things they like or think they might enjoy only makes them want those things all the more.” the human mind will always work like this, freedom to choose their destiny will make them aware of the consequences.


    Why Don’t We Complain

    “I myself can occasionally summon the courage to complain but I cannot, as I have intimated, complaint softly. In certain way I relate myself with the author because sometimes I expect that some will take the matter up and do something about it on my behalf.

    Most of the people are afraid of expressing their opinion since they do not want to be rejected or judged. In this society there are things that are always going to bother someone. In many cases, most complaints occur by unwillingness of other people to offer some help or to perform their job properly.

    In my case, every time I go to certain dance clubs, it seems almost impossible to get into the place as it is to complaint. It seems like making one stand in line for a long time is a requirement to access the club, even if it is empty; workers at the clubs seem not to care about costumers. The worst part is that there is no one to complain to.

    In the other hand, complaining can be rewarding; I was in a restaurant and the table I was seated at had a small leak from the roof falling right at the top of my table; at this time I complained to the manager and they relocated me with a 10 percent discount in the bill for the inconvenience.

    “I would speak out like a man against the unnecessary annoyances of out time” Complaining is a good technique in order to be heard; however there is a way and time to get the most of it.
    Um, leaks don't fall. Water falls.


Similar Threads

  1. Is there a grammar of spoken English?
    By M56 in forum General Language Discussions
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 09-Feb-2009, 00:58
  2. Kindly Check My Grammar....thanks!
    By mitang in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 23-Jul-2008, 01:58
  3. Pls. check my grammar & statement.
    By anasiants in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 28-Aug-2006, 04:04
  4. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 31-Oct-2004, 07:28

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •