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  1. #1
    esophea is offline Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Cambodian
      • Home Country:
      • Cambodia
      • Current Location:
      • Cambodia
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    115
    Post Thanks / Like

    Unhappy Edit my cover Please

    Please help edit my below Cover please

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I am writing to express my interest in your recently advertised position of Sales which was advertised on Cambodia Daily on 26th March, 2007. Attached to this letter is my resume and certificates, which further details my work experience and qualifications.

    I am a freshman who will graduate from the Institute of Foreign Languages (IFL). Prior to entering IFL, I graduated from the National University of Management (NUM) with a Bachelor’s degree in Accounting in 2004. Presently, I am working as a Sales Executive at First Cambodia Co., Ltd. I am responsible for direct sales, including profit and loss activities, customer growth, increasing revenue and personal development. This position has provided me with an outstanding opportunity to continually improve my communication and interpersonal skills.

    Although I am enjoying my present job, I am looking out for new opportunities in the same field. I am keen on joining your company and becoming one member of the creative team sincerely and I am confident that I can perform the work effectively and efficiently.

    I look forward to meeting you to discuss your needs and my ability to meet them in more detail. In the meantime, please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions you may have. I can be reached at: xxxx or xxxxx

    Thank you for your time and consideration.
    Last edited by Tdol; 29-Mar-2007 at 06:17.

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Philippines
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Posts
    42,520
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Edit my cover Please

    http://www.usingenglish.com/referenc...of-straw.html- Sales what? Normally a job would have a title like 'Sales Manager/Assistant, etc.
    on Cambodia- in The Cambodia Daily
    is my resume and certificates- are
    details my work- detail
    becoming one member of the creative team sincerely- I'd remove 'sincerely'

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