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  1. #1
    covenduong is offline Newbie
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    Please help me to correct my first essay. Thank you so much!!!!!

    Topic 1: Parents are the best teachers. Do you agree or disagree?

    Family is the first educational environment for a child. And parents are the first-influenced people who raise, take care of a child from a baby to a mature person. Therefore, parents have a certain influence on a childís growing, but not the best teacher.

    Firstly, as a child, the parents teach them the first-lesson to become a good person. Those are to respect elders, to love plants and animals. The parents are the founder of a childís behavior which results in his parentís teaching and behavior. So, parents are the best teacher at that time.

    Secondly, when he grows up, schooling is his second teachers where he has new relationship with supervisors and friends. In this new environment, his teachers provide new information surrounding him from alphabet, figure to other culture in the world. By interaction with friend and teacherís lesson, he recognizes what mutual-help, selfish, solidarity, charity is.

    Finally, when he gets mature, he has a further teacher, called life-experience. All his success and failure in career and love turn to lessons which help him more growing up. Thanks to the above-mention education and interaction, he has established his characteristic behaved different ways to each issue, in good way or bad way. This means that he becomes seft-teacher.

    In summary, we have many teachers in our life, and our behavior is deeply rooted by our parents. Each stage of one's life has a best teacher.

  2. #2
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Re: Please help me to correct my first essay. Thank you so much!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by covenduong View Post
    Family is the first educational environment for a child. And parents are the first-influenced people who raise, take care of a child from a baby to a mature person. Therefore, parents have a certain influence on a child’s growing, but not the best teacher.
    The family is the first educational environment for a child. And parents are the first and most important influences on young children.

    Quote Originally Posted by covenduong View Post
    Firstly, as a child, the parents teach them the first-lesson to become a good person. Those are to respect elders, to love plants and animals. The parents are the founder of a child’s behavior which results in his parent’s teaching and behavior. So, parents are the best teacher at that time.
    The first lessons in life are learned from the child's parents.
    You must rewrite that in order to achieve clarity. You know what you want to say, but you have given your reader too big a job to try to figure it out.

    ~R

  3. #3
    Larry's Avatar
    Larry is offline Newbie
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    Re: Please help me to correct my first essay. Thank you so much!!!!!

    Therefore, parents have a certain influence on a child’s growing, but not the best teacher.

    You can remove the word "certain" and make it more authoritative.

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