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    • Join Date: Sep 2006
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    #1

    Pls help, thanks

    Hi, below is my second essay, pls help to correct it.
    Thanks!



    Why I Still Live In The City?
    Even though I am making a living in the biggest city of China, I still wonder why I come and stay here with high pressure from my life, I wonder why I still love to take a course by a course and never feel tired, I wonder why I am intereted in what I created.
    Why did I come and stay here? I was born in the quiet countryside and grew up along with the clean rivers and fresh air. After graduating from the middle school, I came to the city and studied in a university. I gradually adapted myself to the city life and love the opportunity which is always much easier to be obtained than it in the countryside. I was obsorbed in the competitions and the feelings when I completed one of approaches. So, after finishing all the courses in the university and getting my first job in the city, I soon got a promotion as my hard working.
    City life is really hard for me because of my departure from my birthplace, I have to create so many things to meet the basic requirements of my life, such as buying a house to satify the need of living, working hard to earn much more money, taking a lot course to meet the requirments of my job and even to get a high position with a higher salaries. I always feel that the time is not enough for me, but I do really not think it is boring, contrarily, I am happy to creat it.
    So the life in city is both hard and interesting for me because I want to be succeeded in the following way. When I watch what I have done, it always make sense for me, then I stay and will stay in city and face to every problems in my future.

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    #2

    Re: Pls help, thanks

    Why I Still Live In The City?- Either remove the question mark or put 'do' in.
    why I come and stay- tense
    with high pressure from my life- under all this pressure
    to take a course by a course- unclear
    intereted- spelling
    what I created- what do you mean by this?


    • Join Date: Sep 2006
    • Posts: 212
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    #3

    Re: Pls help, thanks

    Thanks, Tdol, I have edited it, could you pls check it again


    Quote Originally Posted by wuwei View Post
    Hi, below is my second essay, pls help to correct it.
    Thanks!



    Why Do I Still Live In The City?
    Even though I am making a living in the biggest city of China, I still wonder why I come(came) and stay(stayed) here with(under) high pressure from my life, I wonder why I still love to take a course by a course(so many training to promote myself) and never feel tired, I wonder why I am intereted(interested) in what I created(Here I mean the things what I own and will own with my efforts, could you tell me the exact expression).
    Why did I come and stay here? I was born in the quiet countryside and grew up along with the clean rivers and fresh air. After graduating from the middle school, I came to the city and studied in a university. I gradually adapted myself to the city life and love the opportunity which is always much easier to be obtained than it in the countryside. I was obsorbed in the competitions and the feelings when I completed one of approaches. So, after finishing all the courses in the university and getting my first job in the city, I soon got a promotion as my hard working.
    City life is really hard for me because of my departure from my birthplace, I have to create so many things to meet the basic requirements of my life, such as buying a house to satify the need of living, working hard to earn much more money, taking a lot course to meet the requirments of my job and even to get a high position with a higher salaries. I always feel that the time is not enough for me, but I do really not think it is boring, contrarily, I am happy to creat it.
    So the life in city is both hard and interesting for me because I want to be succeeded in the following way. When I watch what I have done, it always make sense for me, then I stay and will stay in city and face to every problems in my future.

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