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Thread: Translation

  1. #1
    HaraKiriBlade's Avatar
    HaraKiriBlade is offline Member
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    Default Translation

    Ok the following text is NOT about what I'm going through. I just translated what's posted in a Korean web forum. He wants to take on Paypal. Just the kind of writing I like. If you've seen my posts often enough, most of what I've posted in this part of the forum have been letters of complaint. You know, the world is very hostile and I'm just forced to write letters after letters, but that's beside the point.

    Anyways, here it goes, and I would appreciate your proofreading, including my ranting above.


    It was May 3rd in your time zone.
    I did not receive any E-mails even though my Paypal account showed "E-mail sent to buyer" and "Additional information requested.” It seems that Paypal's E-mail system has occasional problems. I had to go through the inconvenience of speaking on the phone with one of Paypal's employees, Christy, for a long time. From this phone call I found out the seller offered a quite incredulously displeasing amount of $50 refund, which I turned down.

    Then I received your E-mail today. I made the phone call as soon as I read it and asked for you. I talked to three Paypal representatives, none of whom knew who you were. What's worse - it always has been the case with Paypal - is that there's not one representative that speaks Korean.

    It upsets me a great deal to think that I have to go through this trouble even though I didn't cause it, and that I had to spend my valuable hours on it. I'm also very furious towards the seller and disappointed by Paypal's lack of proper facilitation for foreign buyers, but I thank you for your E-mail response and cooperation.

    I will send the requested proofs by fax as soon as I can.
    They should tell you that my demands have been fair and are based on facts.
    I even made a bit of a compromise and offered to pay half the amount, which the seller disregarded, and his offer of $50 refund means no more than an insult to me.

    I need to ask you this.
    Why is it that you haven't mentioned in your E-mail about the two items I haven't received?

    Haven't I made it clear that I haven't received to this point some of what I'm supposed to receive from the seller and that this is a point even the seller acknowledges? You probably know this well, which makes me wonder why you didn't mention it. If there's anything you're not sure of what happened, I suggest you read again the exchanges of E-mails between me and the seller.

    As I mentioned above, I will make sure to send you the proofs in a few days. But even if I could not, shouldn't I have been compensated for the items I paid for and did not receive? A clarification on this part would be appreciated.

    I shall contact you again once I fax on the number you provided.
    Thank you very much.

    - [name]


    P.S.
    I will send the estimate sheet for watch repair as per requested, and I will make efforts to send it in English to help you read it better. I have no problem with your trying to contact the person that gave me the estimate, but know that you may have difficulty communicating with him.
    He is, after all, Korean, not American.
    Also keep in mind that the person's duty ends at where he gave me the estimate; he is not obligated to prepare himself to facilitate the unfamiliar phone call from the States. If you need a third party for some sort of verification, you'll have to hire someone that speaks Korean or ask one of your friends who speaks Korean for help.
    Again, I owe a great deal to the helpful people in this website. I probably wouldn't have felt as comfortable in writing as I do now without the helpful suggestions that corrected my errors. Thank you, very very much.

    - HKB
    Last edited by HaraKiriBlade; 07-May-2007 at 05:54.

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: Translation

    As a letter of complaint, this is all over the shop; it starts like a narrative, has a PS and is so angry, it's uncontrolled. It's structurally flawed IMO. It needs to start by stating that the person is complaining, then giving the details of what PayPal failed to do, and these should be given chronologically. I would start with the attempted transaction and the explain what happened. The person has had contact with the PayPal guy, but have they put the details in writing? It's jumping around and throws in issues seemingly in a random way; the person probably has a legitimate point about PayPal not having Korean speakers, but is this the time and place to introduce it? The person seems to be throwing everything out, rather than detailing the problems in a logical way. It needs rewriting from the start, not proofreading IMO.

  3. #3
    HaraKiriBlade's Avatar
    HaraKiriBlade is offline Member
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    Default Re: Translation

    That is EXACTLY what I suggested to the person after the translation, for I myself could not understand the full details reading the original. I would never write a complaint letter this way. But I figured the person's probably too young or inexperienced to write a good letter, and since it's not a translator's job to rewrite the original for his client, (not that I'm translating for money or anything...) I translated anyways.

    Other than its obvious structure flaws, are there any expressions that don't sound right? (I guess it would be difficult to proofread a structurally flawed writing, eh? My professor also sald something along the same line...)

    - HKB

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