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Thread: Author Allie

  1. #1
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    Question Author Allie

    In my novel, I'm into the mind of a killer for a short time. At one point, he lies in bed and reflects about the killing he did that day and also what drove him to do it.

    This reflection takes place in the pitch black of his bedroom and I'm trying to duplicate on paper the sounds his drawing in on the cigarette and the blowing out I have glowing red and yellow written as he "puffs". The best I have come up with is "Puff...phoooo". Thanks.

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    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: Author Allie

    To be honest, I would avoid trying to do that. A description of the way in which the cigarette tip glows and then fades as he breathes in and out, and the way in which it intensifies as he becomes excited with his memories would be more effective than trying to create a sound which is practically non-existent.

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    Ouisch's Avatar
    Ouisch is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Author Allie

    About the best I can suggest is to mention that he lit a cigarette and, lost in the intensity of this thoughts, sucked on it loudly like a baby with a pacifier.

    Not a great description, but maybe that gives you an idea.

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    Barb_D's Avatar
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    Default Re: Author Allie

    Quote Originally Posted by Anglika View Post
    To be honest, I would avoid trying to do that. A description of the way in which the cigarette tip glows and then fades as he breathes in and out, and the way in which it intensifies as he becomes excited with his memories would be more effective than trying to create a sound which is practically non-existent.
    I completely agree with this!

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