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  1. #1
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    Default Could you please help me with my speech?

    Dear Teachers, I am going to deliver a 3-minutes speech to about 100 of my classmates. I wrote "Past Flaws" myself, and could you please give some editing? If you have anything to add, please tell me.

    Thanks a million! I am looking forward to hearing from you.

    Past Flaws
    Good evening, honored judges and my fellow classmates. No one is perfect, just as a coin is always two-sided. Maybe it is safe to say that ‘To err is human’. Today, I want to talk about a story of flaws. Suppose we have three candidates A, B and C, and we have to choose one of them to be our world’s leader who will benefit our humankind. First, allow me to introduce the three of them to you:

    A: He believes in ghosts and superstitions; He has love affairs with two women and he has smoked for years and is addicted to wine as well.
    B: He was ejected from his office twice; He is a lazy man who never gets up before noon; He is a bad student who took drugs in college; He is also a drunkard who enjoys a liter of brandy every night;
    C: He is one of his country’s combat heroes; a vegetarian; never smokes, just a little beer once a while; never did anything illegal when he was young.

    Well, what do you think, my dear friends? Is it too obvious or direct to be a question or a choice? Do you think that people would choose A or B over C? Surely you don’t. However, just as a saying goes, for every problem, there is a solution, which is so simple, so appealing, and so wrong. You have made a huge mistake instead of a right choice, my dear friends. A is actually Franklin Roosevelt, the most respectful president in the US history who had four terms of his office; B is Winston Churchill, the well-known prime minister of Britain who led his country through the hardest days of world war II; C is Adolf Hitler, a devil of the 20th century infamous for his killings of millions of people.

    My dear friends, never be afraid of your mistakes, flaws or stains. They are just something about our past; they tell us that we share some common characteristics of our mankind without exception; they remind us that we do not have a good enough past and that we still have something to work on, but they do not mean and can not decide our future.

    A perfect person, a person without defects, a person never did anything wrong, is just an artificial character existing in novels and fictions of which we cannot find any examples in our real life. In some sense, it is these flaws that make our life meaningful, make us feel that we have something to do. We lack something, so we try to do something to make it up. We are ignorant, knowing little about this world when we are little children, we then go to school to receive education; we have a terrible command of English, we then make great efforts to pass College English Tests to make us qualified in a foreign language. Suppose we have everything, we are perfect, what are we going to do? In the Hollywood movie “the Matrix”, Agent Smith tells Morpheus that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect world without sufferings, where everyone would be happy. However, as he continues, the entire population died because they could not accept the program. The movie presents us such a rule,” we cannot live in a perfect world, or we cannot be perfect persons”.

    So, my dear friends, never mind your flaws. Let us put all of them behind us and move on with our lives. Let us be confident to say, “I have flaws, but my future will still be magnificent because of my efforts!”

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default

    It's very late at night and I haven't got time to look at the language in detail, but I must say that I think your examples are superb. I had no idea who you were talking about until you revealed the truth. As a basic structure for a talk,I can only congratulate you; I enjoyed reading it, so your audience will enjoy listening to it. You lured me into voting for Hitler. I'll look at it in more detail in the morning, but this is very good indeed.

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