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    #1

    editing of passage

    Could someone please edit this passage meant for Year-2 students for me? Thanks in advance.

    If we want to be healthy, we should have enough sleep, eat healthy food and exercise often.

    One of the best forms of exercise is walking. It is suitable for people of all ages. Jogging is also a good form of exercise, but it is more suitable for the young. We must not overstrain ourselves by jogging too quickly. We must jog at a pace that we are comfortable with.

    Swimming is the best form of exercise. It exercises every part of the body. Unfortunately, not everyone knows how to swim. Swimming is not something that comes to us naturally. We have to learn to swim.
    Last edited by kohyoongliat; 14-May-2007 at 17:50.


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    #2

    Re: editing of passage

    In your first sentence, I would write "and take plenty of exercise" - it prevents any confusion over eat being linked to exercise.

    Otherwise it looks fine to me.

    • Member Info
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    #3

    Re: editing of passage

    Thanks, Anglika, for your constructive comment.

    Best wishes

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