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  1. #1
    bauer is offline Newbie
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    ukrainian guy tries to form a letter of motivation

    hi there,

    i'm studying graphic-design in germany and i'm going abroad (erasmus/socrates).
    i have to form a short motivationletter.
    this is my first try. what do you think?



    Things that motivate me, to go nottingham.
    Sure, there are the usual reasons like, different country, differnet language, different people, different culture, different kind of design. But threre is something more ...
    In my circle of friends there are many »anglophil« germans, who allways talk about their trips to Britain, especially London, people who listen to brit-pop and who are crazy about the charme victorian architecture. Well, i'm not so enthusiastic for the whole brit-hype. Not yet. I want to look in the british soul and try to understand what's so fascinating about england.
    Maybe i will experience culture shock. But it will be nothing new for me, cause i did it already when my family moved from Ukraine to Germany 12 years ago. So i know the language problems, the prejudices and the feeling of being a stranger. But i'm not afraid of these feelings. I'm looking forward to new view of life.
    I decided to go to Nottingham and not to London or Manchester, because i hope to find closer contact with other students and profs in a »small« city than it would be possible in anonymous big one.
    I'm interested in graphic-design and illustration. Are there differences between german design and english design? Or are there nowdays no more local varieties in a globalized world, because we all use the same designing methods and designing-tools from adobe? I heard from a fellow student that the English attach more importance to research then we do. So is the englisch design even more top-heavy/rational than german. Is it possible?
    Its time to attack prejudices ...

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Re: ukrainian guy tries to form a letter of motivation

    It needs a lot of work. There are many words (nottingham, german) that need capital letters. There are terms like 'maybe' that should be replaced and abbreviations like 'cause' that should be written in full. It's supposed to be a motivation letter, but the part about culture shock comes across as negative to me. It needs to be sell-checked to get rid of typos like 'differnet'. The punctuation needs looking at- what's the comma doing in the first sentence?

  3. #3
    aous02 is offline Member
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    Re: ukrainian guy tries to form a letter of motivation

    I'm studying graphic-design in germany and I'm going abroad (erasmus/socrates).
    I have to form a short motivationletter.
    This is my first try. what do you think?



    Things that motivate me, to go (to) Nottingham.
    (Surely) there are the usual reasons like different country, differnet language, different people, different culture, different kind of design. But threre is something more ...
    In my circle of friends there are many »anglophil« germans, who always talk about their trips to Britain, especially London, people who listen to brit-pop and who are crazy about the charm victorian architecture. Well, I'm not so enthusiastic about the whole brit-hype. Not yet. I want to look in the British soul and try to understand what's so fascinating about england.
    Maybe I will experience a cultural shock. But it will be nothing new for me, cause I (have already experienced such a thing) when my family moved from Ukraine to Germany 12 years ago. So I know the language problems, the prejudices and the feeling of being a stranger. But, I'm not afraid of these feelings. I'm looking forward to new view of life.
    I decided to go to Nottingham and not to London or Manchester, because I hope (correct the tense) to find closer contact with other students and profs in a »small« city than it would be possible in anonymous big one.
    I'm interested in graphic-design and illustration. Are there differences between German design and English design? Or are there nowdays no more local varieties in a globalized world, because we all use the same designing methods and designing-tools from adobe? I heard from a fellow student that the English attach more importance to research then we do. So is the English design even more top-heavy/rational than German. Is it possible?
    Its time to attack prejudices ...


    * As you've already been told, you need to check it more than once.
    There are many sentences that sound very awkward to me...
    (A natitve speaker will give better hints)
    Good luck with your English.

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