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  1. #1
    WILLIAMJP is offline Newbie
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    Default How to compose this sentence?

    Hi!
    This sentence sounds strange.
    What do u think?Is there better way to compose it?

    I am determined to become better skilled in this field so that I can be better positioned in the future to help people in my country, which is still a developing economy, to enjoy longer, healthier and wealthier lives.

  2. #2
    2006 is offline Banned
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      • Member Type:
      • Other
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      • English
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      • Canada
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    Default Re: How to compose this sentence?

    My main concern with your sentence is that is too wordy. (= too long, has too many words). Consider the following shorter version.

    I am determined to become more skilled (in this field), in order to better help people in my still-developing country enjoy longer, healthier and wealthier lives.

    I prefer 'more skilled' over "better skilled".
    If people already know what field you mean, you can omit "in this field".
    Last edited by 2006; 15-May-2007 at 03:57.

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