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  1. #1
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    Default I need someone to edit my essay please!

    Computers are killing us

    Computers are some of the most important and common tools that people use nowadays. They help us with keeping data, getting information, typing reports and more. Although the benefits to use computers are great, they also have negative impacts on human being. These include laziness, health problems, and addition.
    To begin with laziness first, due to the conveniences of computers provide, people become more and more lazy. For instance, telephones have gradually replaced by the Windows Live Messenger. Many people chat with friends through the MSN on computers, rather use telephones.
    Second, it is a fact that our physical strength reduce if we use computer too long. Physical strength is so important because if we have weak physical strenth, it is easy to get sick.
    Last, addiction is one of the reasons that why people tend to use computers for a long period of time. The causes of addiction are many, but the most common one is online gaming. Once people get engrossed in activities such as online gaming, they tend to neglect other things in reality.
    In conclusion, using computers have a variety of negative impacts on us. Therefore, it is better to reduce our computer usage in order to avoid getting killed by using computer.

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    I am trying to improve my skill in writing eassy. Although I wrote this essay as a practice, I do need your help! Please correct my mistakes, so I can learn from them. I appreciate your help!

  2. #2
    curmudgeon's Avatar
    curmudgeon is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: I need someone to edit my essay please!

    Quote Originally Posted by chichiu57 View Post
    COMPUTERS ARE KILLING US!!!



    Whilst computers are one of the most important and common tools that people use nowadays; helping us with storing data, retrieving information, typing reports and much more benefits, they also have negative impacts on society. These include laziness, health problems, and addiction.

    Relating to laziness..., due to their convenience, people become more and more reliant on them. For instance, telephones have gradually been replaced by Windows Live Messenger (MSN). Many people chat with friends through MSN on computers, rather than use the telephone.
    Also, it is a fact that our physical strength is reduced if we use computers continuously. Physical strength is very important because,without it we are susceptible to illness.
    Finally, addiction is one of the problems associated with people who tend to use computers for a long period of time. The causes of addiction are many, but the most common one is online gaming. Once people get engrossed in activities such as online gaming, they tend to neglect other things in reality.
    In conclusion, using computers has a variety of negative impacts on us. Therefore, it is better to reduce our computer usage and understand the risks in order to avoid getting killed by using computer.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------

    I am trying to improve my skill in writing eassy. Although I wrote this essay as a practice, I do need your help! Please correct my mistakes, so I can learn from them. I appreciate your help!

    This is not perfect, but I hope it helps

  3. #3
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    Default Re: I need someone to edit my essay please!

    It really helps! Thanks for the corrections!!

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