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    • Join Date: Sep 2005
    • Posts: 51
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    #1

    Smile End-of- year speech

    Can you correct this end-of-year speech and make some suggestion, please? Thank you in advance


    Good evening everyone, and welcome
    Thank you for joining me in the Trade India end of year celebration. It is a pleasure, as always, to be here with you. I am delighted I can summarize all notable affairs of the last unforgettable year.
    After much consideration of the company development during the last year, I truly appreciate all the significant and valuable work that you have done for our success.
    This outstanding achievement brought us a lot of profitable business and valuable trade agreements. We can mention two most remarkable contracts with Škoda Auto India or Bata India Ltd., which helped boost the company's profits. Therefore the annual sales have jumped to ₤ 110 million. This evidence of distinct progress expands our economic relations and company's influence on logistic market in whole India.
    I know that you often work hard far into the night and wonder if anyone has really noticed your active contribution to our company. Tonight, I want to reassure you: we do notice, we do appreciate what you do, we do value it, and we are grateful.
    I am sure that I can count on all of you, on your utmost dedication, inspiration and professionalism, in making this all happen. You are all, whatever your role and responsibilities, indispensable for our company.
    Again, I thank you for the great honour of being president of this splendid company. I am proud that I could work with such nice and responsible people as you are. Moreover, I really look forward to collaborate with you all the year 2007 round. I hope we will be even more successful during next year and gain a lot of new opportunities to present our qualities.
    Now you should relax and enjoy your well-earned free time as much as possible.
    I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
    Thank you a lot for your attention.


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,448
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    #2

    Re: End-of- year speech

    Quote Originally Posted by petr View Post
    Can you correct this end-of-year speech and make some suggestion, please? Thank you in advance


    Good evening, everyone, and welcome.

    Thank you for joining me in the Trade India end of year celebration. It is a pleasure, as always, to be here with you. I am delighted I can summarize all notable affairs of the last unforgettable year.

    After much consideration of the company development during the last year, I truly appreciate all the significant and valuable work that [which] you have done [that has contributed to] our success.

    This outstanding achievement [What achievement? It is not clear if it is the overall success or the workers' contribution] brought us a lot of profitable business and valuable trade agreements. We can mention two most remarkable contracts with Škoda Auto India or Bata India Ltd [do you mean "and"?]., which helped boost the company's profits. Therefore the annual sales have jumped to ₤ 110 million. This evidence of distinct progress expands our economic relations and the company's influence on logistic market in whole India [you need "the" for both of these; also "logistics market" is the correct term].

    I know that you often work hard far into the night and wonder if anyone has really noticed your active contribution to our company. Tonight, I want to reassure you: we do notice, we do appreciate what you do, we do value it, and we are grateful.

    I am sure that I can count on all of you, on your utmost dedication, inspiration and professionalism, in making this all happen[Since you have already said is has happened, perhaps you need to say "in continuing to make this happen"]. You are all, whatever your role and responsibilities, indispensable for [to] our company.

    Again, I thank you for the great honour of being president of this splendid company. I am proud that I could work with such nice and responsible people as you are. Moreover, I really look forward to collaborating with you all the year 2007 round.[throughout 2007] I hope we will be even more successful during next year and gain a lot of new opportunities to present our qualities.

    Now you should relax and enjoy your well-earned free time as much as possible.

    I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
    Thank you a lot ["very much" OR omit]for your attention.
    ..

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