Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: Fertility Essay

  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    Fertility Essay

    How would I re-write this?

    Life presented a few stumbling blocks along the way. The life we so eagerly
    planned resulted in years of struggle, particularly for me. I was the one who
    was not able to conceive. I was the one who underwent uncomfortable and
    embarrassing tests, it was me.

  2. #2
    Barb_D's Avatar
    Barb_D is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    17,411
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Fertility Essay

    What is it you want to change?

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    How would I re-write this?

    Life presented a few stumbling blocks along the way. The baby [so you don't use "life" twice with two different meanings so close together] we had so eagerly anticipated resulted in years of struggle, particularly for me. I was the one who was not able to conceive. I was the one who underwent uncomfortable and embarrassing tests. It all fell on me.

Similar Threads

  1. Self-Evaluation Essay? HELP ME PLEASE I'M GOING TO CRY:'(
    By Super Sonic in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 19-May-2007, 23:56
  2. Will anyone please revise my college application essay?
    By inck243 in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 28-Oct-2006, 08:29
  3. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 14-Dec-2005, 07:09
  4. Help on 'Opininon Essay'
    By student2005 in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 18-Nov-2005, 04:25
  5. my essay tutorial
    By Dmitrij in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 16-Sep-2005, 04:51

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •