Your writing is not well planned. it is repetitious and keeps saying the same things. You must make a logical progression in the topics.
In the first piece - start by saying what is a natural disaster; then describe different disasters; then say what effect it/they have on the environment; then say how people behave.
In the second piece - You start well. But you must then say what are different kinds of pop music; then say something why people like the different kinds of music; then say something about the influence of pop stars; then finish with your last sentence.
Re-write and let us see how you do.
- For Teachers