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Thread: proofreading

  1. #1
    Hanka is offline Senior Member
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    Default proofreading

    Hi,

    could you please proofread the following text (especially the highlighted parts):

    Successful accomplishment of the tasks will guarantee sufficient learning experience and repeatable implementation processes.
    Our personal development should keep pace with the increasing job-related requirements.
    Each employee will find out that anything can happen in the working life and that career does not follow the same trajectory any longer.

    Thank you very much.

    Hanka

  2. #2
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: proofreading

    I think they can be more simply and clearly expressed:


    Successful accomplishment of the tasks will guarantee sufficient learning experience and repeatable implementation processes. How can "Successful accomplishment" of tasks "guarantee sufficient learning experience and repeatable implementation processes" - and what are these?
    Success in the tasks will provide a good learning experience and establish working methods/processes.

    Our personal development should keep pace with the increasing job-related requirements.

    Personal development should keep pace with job-related requirements.

    Each employee will find out that anything can happen in the working life and that career does not follow the same trajectory any longer.

    Each employee will discover that their working life and their career can change.

  3. #3
    Hanka is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: proofreading

    Actually, I am a translator so I shouldn´t change the sentences that much
    How could I say that the job-related requirements are growing or increasing? It is not possible to say: "increasing job-related requirements"?
    And the last sentence. Is the original one correct or could it be rewriten with only small changes and not so simplified as yours?

  4. #4
    bianca is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: proofreading

    "increasing job-related requirements" - sure you can say that.


    Each employee will find out that anything can happen in the working life and that career does not follow the same trajectory any longer.

    'any longer' - does your context justify the use of 'any longer'?? Or else, say "career does not steadily/continuously follow the same trajectory." But you're right about not digressing from the original sentence too much - even though there are nuances impossible to translate literally from one language into another.
    Last edited by bianca; 22-Jun-2007 at 11:01.

  5. #5
    Hanka is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: proofreading

    Thank you very much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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