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  1. #1
    gatadu is offline Newbie
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    Wink pls,correct this introduction

    this is a part of my self introduction
    pls, correct this for my dream

    One word that people described me is ‘HONEST’ because of my honest, people tended to trust me and I could maintain positive relationships with them. I would describe myself as a persistence person. Especially, against right things, duties and responsibilities I tended to be persist.
    I am a person who not afraid of challenge, as an oversea student I supposed to confront with various difficulties and problems, however, at that moment I learnt how to enjoy challenge rather than express frustration and giving up. The experiences reinforced me to build a positive attitude as well.
    Sometimes, I became unique person with my imaginations and behaviours, and created a good atmosphere at work, so people called me “humorous person”.
    I have realized people are enormously different as I lived and studied with diverse people in Australia. And it influenced me to change my whole idea and the view of people. And I assure the ideas will influence me to provide positive encouragement to children.

  2. #2
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: pls,correct this introduction

    Quote Originally Posted by gatadu View Post



    One word that people described me is ‘HONEST’ because of my honest, people tended to trust me and I could maintain positive relationships with them. I would describe myself as a persistence person.
    One word that people use to describe me is "honest". Because of my honesty people tend to trust me, and I am able to maintain positive relationships with them. I would describe myself as a persistent person.
    The word you are looking for there might be consistent.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: pls,correct this introduction

    Quote Originally Posted by gatadu View Post
    Especially, against right things, duties and responsibilities I tended to be persist.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: pls,correct this introduction

    Quote Originally Posted by gatadu View Post
    I am a person who not afraid of challenge, as an oversea student I supposed to confront with various difficulties and problems, however, at that moment I learnt how to enjoy challenge rather than express frustration and giving up.
    I am a person who is not afraid of a challenge. As an overseas student I have come to expect to confront various difficulties and problems. However. I do not let those difficulties deter me. I have come to enjoy a challenge rather than get frustrated and give up.

    Quote Originally Posted by gatadu View Post
    The experiences reinforced me to build a positive attitude as well.
    The experiences I have been through have taught me to maintain a positive attitude.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: pls,correct this introduction

    Quote Originally Posted by gatadu View Post
    Sometimes, I became unique person with my imaginations and behaviours, and created a good atmosphere at work, so people called me “humorous person”.

    Quote Originally Posted by gatadu View Post
    I have realized people are enormously different as I lived and studied with diverse people in Australia. And it influenced me to change my whole idea and the view of people. And I assure the ideas will influence me to provide positive encouragement to children.
    Rewrite that so it is easier to understand.

    ~R

  6. #6
    Veron1's Avatar
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    Talking Re: pls,correct this introduction

    Hi
    Gatadu plz stick to only one tense it is a serious mistake
    . Use the simple present

    One word that people use to describe
    me is ‘HONEST’ thanks to my honesty, people tend to trust me and I can have good relationships with them. I would describe myself as a persistent person; especially, against right things, duties and responsibilities I tend to be persistent.
    I am a person who is not afraid of any kind of challenge. As an oversea student, I suppose to confront with various difficulties and problems, however, at that moment I learn how to enjoy challenge rather than express frustration . The experiences reinforce me to build a positive attitude as well.
    Sometimes, I became unique with my imagination and behaviors, and created a good atmosphere at work, so people called me “humorous person”.
    I have realized people are enormously different as I have lived and studied with diverse people in Australia. It influence me to change my whole idea and the view of people. And I'm sure the ideas will influence me to provide positive encouragement to children.
    NB: plz don't start a sentence with "and"(never ever)
    and use the simple present
    I think your introduction is ok now
    see you

  7. #7
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    Default Re: pls,correct this introduction

    Say:
    I have learned that there are a great many differences between people.
    (There is nothing wrong with starting a sentence with And.)

    ~R

  8. #8
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    Wink Re: pls,correct this introduction

    Hi
    It's true that I'm not a teacher but my teachers are always asking me not to start a sentence with "and" especially Mrs Kusanek who is originally American
    Any way my friend I just wanted to help you and I gave you an advice so take it or leave it
    you may have seen during your reading that poets or writers are using "and"
    at the beginning of a sentence.
    Well......they are writers but we are students (I guess you are)
    see you

  9. #9
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: pls,correct this introduction

    "Advice" is not considered a count noun, so say:
    I gave you some advice, so take it or leave it.

  10. #10
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: pls,correct this introduction

    We went to the movies yesterday. And then we came home.


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