Hi, any comments on the piece below would be appreciated.
I am sitting there, in front of my computer’s monitor, trying to figure anything about John Mahelzut.
Who was this John Mahelzut?
I have completely no idea and have to write a piece about him. Our English teacher, Margaret, asked (asked? ordered!) us to write “a short, hundred-word piece about John Mahelzut’s writing and feelings.” I am to write it for tomorrow’s class so it’s high time to get down to work.
I know he was a writer. And had feelings. Well, at least it’s something to start with. Let’s try…
“John Mahelzut was a writer. Not a famous writer, not a Nobel-price writer, not a writer whose name is on everyone’s lips. But a writer who did have feelings, and these feelings made him to write his books.”
I hope he indeed wrote books! I am sure he wasn’t a famous writer as I’ve never heard of him, and neither my parents have (I found time to ask them during breakfast today), so I should be right. A promising start, but nothing more is coming to my mind. Was a writer, had feelings: the clues Margaret gave us run out. I have to try to use my mind, not too often efficiently used, though. Hmmm, maybe something like that?
“They reflect his feelings of loneliness and melancholy, probably having source in his childhood. Reading his books I felt like I were this poor child, whose feelings were totally ignored by the world around, though this world was what made him feel like that. The poor creature was left totally alone…”
Oh, dear, this Margaret teacher will kill me! But who cares, I will figure nothing better and it’s almost midnight. Just some smart end:
“Mahelzut, though a mature writer, seems to still be this miserable child—not in what he writes like, but in what he feels.”
Well, nine words too many, but hope it won’t be a problem. And I hope there was such a writer, John Mazelhut—this Margeret teacher likes sometimes to pull our legs…
computer’s monitor- computer monitor
figure anything about- something??
neither my parents have- neither have
probably having source- originating
like I were- was