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  1. #1
    saobimila999 is offline Newbie
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    Default Can you correct my essay?

    Nowadays,with the development of the technology,telecommuting is becoming more and more common.People working not only in the office but also at their home.For me,I prefer telecommuting than working in the office and think it is the best kind of working.
    Working in the office is the original of working.When working the office,the workers have to follow the office's rules.Although this rules sometimes give them difficulties but the workers can learn how to be responsible for thei jobs.Morever,you will have more friends who work with you.Therefore,when you have any problems,you can have the help and advices form them.
    Tecommuting is seem to make a comfortable feeling for the workers because the places where they work are their homes.For some people,working in their homes is the best chance to improve their creative ideal and I am one of them.For examples,if a woman likes flowers,she can put a vase of them on her table with out careness about her boss which workers in the offices have to face when they want to decorate their office.Besides,telecommuters can work whenever they want if they can finsh the task which the bosses give
    in the plan's time.So,I think this is the best working kind for me.
    Ii is so hard when choosing whick kind of working is good for the students who have left from the colleges.Both telecommuting and working in the office have their advantages but I always think that telecommuting is the best because of the good feeling which it gives to you.



  2. #2
    saobimila999 is offline Newbie
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    Smile Re: Can you correct my essay?

    I'm learning English myself.I am happy if you help me about my english^_^

  3. #3
    totyfroty is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Can you correct my essay?


    Hi there, I have made some changes I wish you to consider.

    Working in the office is the original of working
    I didnot understand what you mean by this. May be your meaning is "Working in offices is the original way"? correct me if I am wrong.

    p.s . When you use Although Do not use But. If you want to give it emphasis , you can use yet.

    I wish this was helpful to you

    have a nice day


    Quote Originally Posted by saobimila999 View Post
    Nowadays,with the development of technology,telecommuting becomes more and more common.People work not only in offices but also at their homes.For me,I prefer telecommuting than working in an office and I think it is the best kind of working.

    Working in the office is the original of working.When working in an office,the workers have to follow the office's rules.Although these rules ,sometimes, give them difficulties (yet), the workers can learn how to be responsible for their jobs.Morover,
    you can make friendship with your fellow workers. Therefore,when you have any problem,you can have help and advice form them.
    Telecommuting seems to make a comfortable feeling for the workers because they are actually working at their homes.For some people,working at home is the best way to improve their creative ideal and I am one of them.For example,if a woman likes flowers,she can put a vase on her table without caring about her boss, unlike workers in offices who have to face their bosses. Besides,telecommuters can work whenever they want if they can finish their assignments in the due time
    So,I think this is the best kind of work for me.
    It is so hard to choose which kind of work is good for the students who have left their colleges.Both telecommuting and working in offices have their advantages but I always think that telecommuting is the best because of the good feeling it gives to you.



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