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  1. #1
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    Red face Pls give me a hand. I needs some helps..

    Topic: Have you ever asked yourself where an object comes from? How was it manufactured, and where and by whom? Write a process analysis explaining how something you own was made.

    HI CHECK MY ESSAY PLEASE MY DEAR TEACHER(s)


    1000 songs in your Pockets-Introducing iPod


    Question: how to put “1000 songs in your pockets”? The answer is simple - get these ubiquitous iPods because they can store countless songs within a few seconds. Today, they have become our causal portable media players which also featured with many incredulous functions. They are so tiny and light and that have made us feasible to carry them around.

    However, iPods did not start out as slim as today’s iPod Nanos. They were thick and did not have the sensitive wheels. The first generation of iPod was primarily introduced on October 23rd, 2001 by Jon Rubinstein (an engineer who works for Steve Jobs). They weren’t popular at all due to the expensive price.

    The iPod story struck up when Jon Rubinstein, the creator of iPod, who wanted to make a small and convenient music player rather than a heavy and clunky CD player. He denoted that music players such as CD players and cassette players could not store that many songs and they were very inconvenient for the music lovers. He then conferred about this with Steve Jobs the CEO of Apple and Jobs emboldened him to pursue his dream.

    Following his dream, Rubinstein went to Toshiba (Apple’s supplier in Japan) on February, 2001 to check if there were any possible hardware could be used to make a simplified music player. Astoundingly, the executives of Toshiba showed him a new invented small drive which was about 1.8 inches, but they did not know what it was for. According to Rubinstein’s knowledge on hardware, he abruptly got an idea on making a tiny music player.

    With his brand new idea, Tony Fadell the engineer was hired to assist Rubinstein to create this formidable mini music player. Quickly, Fadell was then put in charge of a team of engineers and designers. The materials that they used were: a drive from Toshiba, a battery from Sony and some control chips from Texas. Later on, Phil Schiller the head of marketing introduced the scroll wheeler.

    After a while, the name of the music player was derived from an American Copywriter named Vinnie Chieco. He said,Open the pod bay door, Hal!” and the name “pod” was frequently being considered by the corporation. Due to the prefix “i” on Apple’s other products (iMac), the “i” was added to the “pod” and become today’s “iPod”.

    Within a few months, the first generation of iPod was finally born on October 23, 2001. In the following years, four other generations were introduced to the public. iPod Shuffle was the first model to use flash memory instead of hard drive storage. The iPod Mini and iPod Nano were then subsequently introduced to the public between 2004 and 2006. Most of the later iPods such as the Nanos and Video iPods could save up to a thousand songs within a few seconds!

    Around 2006, iPod immediately lightened up the music world. Mary J. Blige, a Grammy Award winner once said that iPod is more than just a music player; it’s an extension of your personality and a great way to take your favorite music with you everywhere you go. Another Grammy winner, John Mayer said, “Without the iPod, the digital music age would have been defined by files and folders instead of songs.” In addition, U2, an Irish band, has represented the forth generation of iPod- the Video iPods.

    iPods are now functional and down to earth, apolitical and unisexual. They have become today’s fashion icons. Jon Rubinstein has made his dream come true. The world is now utterly surrounded by iPods. Truly, iPods have kept the spirit of what it means to be a music lover.

  2. #2
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Pls give me a hand. I needs some helps..

    Quote Originally Posted by luciexoxo View Post

    1000 songs in your Pockets-Introducing iPod


    Question: how to put “1000 songs in your pockets”? The answer is simple - get these ubiquitous iPods because they can store countless songs within a few seconds. Today, they have become our causal portable media players which also featured with many incredulous functions. They are so tiny and light and that have made us feasible to carry them around.
    Better would be to say get an iPod, not get these iPods. (One person is likely to buy only one or two and certainly not the whole lot of them.)


    Say:
    portable media players which feature many amazing functions
    (Look up incredulous.)


    Say:
    They are tiny and light and easy to carry around.
    (Look up feasible.)

    Quote Originally Posted by luciexoxo View Post
    However, iPods did not start out as slim as today’s iPod Nanos. They were thick and did not have the sensitive wheels. The first generation of iPod was primarily introduced on October 23rd, 2001 by Jon Rubinstein (an engineer who works for Steve Jobs). They weren’t popular at all due to the expensive price.

    What do you mean by "sensitive wheels"? (Assume your reader hasn't seen and iPod and that you are introducing it to him.)

    Why can't you say introduced instead of primarily introduced?


    Say:
    They weren't popular at all due to the price.
    A price can't be expensive, but it can be high or low.

    ~R

  3. #3
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    Question Re: Pls give me a hand. I needs some helps..

    Sir, is there any other comments you would like to give me in order to improve my writing next time...things like grammar sentence structure...etc...

  4. #4
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pls give me a hand. I needs some helps..

    Quote Originally Posted by luciexoxo View Post
    Sir, is there any other comments you would like to give me in order to improve my writing next time...things like grammar sentence structure...etc...
    Say;
    are there any other comments....
    Try to be patient.

    Also, try to come up with something more original than please help.

    ~R

  5. #5
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Pls give me a hand. I needs some helps..

    Say:
    How can you put 1000 songs in your pocket?
    (Please don't change the original posting.)


  6. #6
    RonBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pls give me a hand. I needs some helps..

    Say:
    I need some help.

    Or:

    Thank you for the help.
    The word help is not normally pluralized.

    ~R

  7. #7
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    Wink Re: Pls give me a hand. I needs some helps..

    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee View Post
    Say:
    I need some help.


    Or:


    Thank you for the help.
    The word help is not normally pluralized.

    ~R
    lol that was a joke...=) i know that

    Thank you very much R~! Thank you! Thank you!

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    Cool Re: Pls give me a hand. I needs some helps..

    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee View Post
    Say:
    How can you put 1000 songs in your pocket?
    (Please don't change the original posting.)

    o? I didnt change anything...ok I will be patient...I'll wait...

  9. #9
    mykwyner is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Pls give me a hand. I needs some helps..

    Here is some help for you:
    Don't assume that your teacher can be easily fooled into thinking that someone who is just learning English can suddenly start writing in some ultra-hip, generation-X, new-age journalistic style.

    Look here for more to-the-point advice: Plagiarism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

  10. #10
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    Wink Re: Pls give me a hand. I needs some helps..

    Geez...Plagiarism...*sigh* I knew that a long time ago!! Umm..that was supposed to be a research paper...and I am sure that you know how to write a research paper. Well, if you think that I plagiarized...Hei! That's GREAT! You've just encouraged me to write more wonderful pieces! *Hugs*

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