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  1. #1
    crussell is offline Junior Member
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    Default Need assistance in rewriting this paragraph

    North Carolina State University 1890 land-grant legacy of service to the citizenry is ensured and continues through this project with the continual staff working with parents who have limited resources and at-risk participants.

    I changed it to:

    This project will ensure the legacy of North Carolina State University 1890 land-grant to continue service to its citizens through the continual work of staff working with parents who have limited resources and at-risk participants.

    It still needs some work - THANKS!

  2. #2
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: Need assistance in rewriting this paragraph

    This project will ensure the legacy of service to the citizens of North Carolina, promised/guaranteed in the North Carolina State University 1890 land-grant, will be continued by the staff working with parents who have limited resources and are at-risk participants.

    "legacy of service" ought not to be split.

    "citizenry" must refer to the citizens of the State, not the University.

  3. #3
    crussell is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Need assistance in rewriting this paragraph

    Sorry it has taken me so long to respond. Thank you for your assistance. The sentence now makes sense.

    Again, thank you.

  4. #4
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: Need assistance in rewriting this paragraph

    You're welcome.

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