Results 1 to 4 of 4

    • Join Date: Nov 2006
    • Posts: 81
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #1

    Need assistance in rewriting this paragraph

    North Carolina State University 1890 land-grant legacy of service to the citizenry is ensured and continues through this project with the continual staff working with parents who have limited resources and at-risk participants.

    I changed it to:

    This project will ensure the legacy of North Carolina State University 1890 land-grant to continue service to its citizens through the continual work of staff working with parents who have limited resources and at-risk participants.

    It still needs some work - THANKS!


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,448
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #2

    Re: Need assistance in rewriting this paragraph

    This project will ensure the legacy of service to the citizens of North Carolina, promised/guaranteed in the North Carolina State University 1890 land-grant, will be continued by the staff working with parents who have limited resources and are at-risk participants.

    "legacy of service" ought not to be split.

    "citizenry" must refer to the citizens of the State, not the University.


    • Join Date: Nov 2006
    • Posts: 81
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #3

    Re: Need assistance in rewriting this paragraph

    Sorry it has taken me so long to respond. Thank you for your assistance. The sentence now makes sense.

    Again, thank you.


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,448
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #4

    Re: Need assistance in rewriting this paragraph

    You're welcome.

Similar Threads

  1. A good Paragraph
    By kimroeun in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 23-Jul-2007, 08:54
  2. The paragraph which puzzled me:
    By ppttpp in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 21-Nov-2006, 13:20
  3. Replies: 12
    Last Post: 06-Oct-2006, 21:22
  4. Is the paragraph cohesive?
    By sky753 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 25-Mar-2006, 03:48

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •