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Thread: Visit, trip

  1. #1
    sureshfina is offline Junior Member
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    Smile Visit, trip

    Can you please make my conversation more quality? I would be thankful to you.


    Intro (about,of) myself in an interview

    I (have come, am coming, came) from India. I m a post graduate in Business administration. Before that I (had done, did) a graduation in commerce.

    I have been working in accounts and administration fields since I completed my studies on the year 2001.
    (or)
    Since I completed my studies in the year 2001, I have been working in accounts and administration fields

    This is my second visit here. In my first (visit, trip), I had come with my friend and his family. My (friend, friends, friend’s) father gave me that visa. That was a travel visa that only valid two months and cannot be extendable. This time I came with a company visit visa that can be extendable for another one month.

    It became 9 days since I came here. This time only I search a job here

    At present I m staying in my friend room in ……. . I will stay here once my job (gets) confirmed.

    Something about more personal
    My father is dead. I m living with my mother and my two brothers. Elder brother works in a company here. Younger is in India. He is having his own business.

    Thanks in advance
    Sureshfina

  2. #2
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    Re: Visit, trip

    Intro (about,of) myself in an interview[Personal introduction for an interview]

    I [come] from India. I m a post graduate in Business administration. Before that I [got a (bachelor's /master's /what have you) degree] in commerce.

    I have been working in [the] accounts and administration fields(this is why you need "the", "the ... fields") since I completed my studies on the year[in] 2001.

    This is my second visit here. In my first visit(really, either visit or trip is fine), I had come[came] with my friend and his family. My friend's father gave me that visa[helped me to get a visa at that time(?)]. That[It] was a travel visa that [was] only valid [for] two months and cannot be extendable[could not be extended]. This time I came with a company visit[visitation(?)] visa that can be extendable for another [one more] month.

    It became[has been] 9 days since I came here. This time only I search a job here[I have spent all my time searching/looking for a job here]

    At present I m staying in my friend room[with a friend] in ……. . I will stay here once my job (gets) confirmed[I successfully get a job/become employed].

    Something about more personal[Additional personal information]
    My father is dead[has passed away("dead" is abrubt, and a little crude)]. I am living[I live] with my mother and my two brothers. [My] elder brother works in a company here. [And my] younger is in India. He is having[owns/runs] his own business.


    Remove words in red, replace the information in red brckets (not parentheses) hope this is in time to be useful.

  3. #3
    sureshfina is offline Junior Member
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    Smile Re: Visit, trip

    thanks for your correction. now i have corrected my conversation

    Personal introduction for an interview

    I come from India. I m a post graduate in Business administration. Before that I got a bachelor's degree in commerce.

    I have been working in the accounts and administration fields since I completed my studies in 2001.

    This is my second visit here. In my first visit, I came with my friend and his family. My friend's father helped me to get a visa at that time. It was a travel visa that was only valid for two months and could not be extended. This time I came with a company visit visa that can be extendable for one more month.

    It has been 9 days since I came here.

    At present I m staying with a friend in ……. . I will stay here once I successfully get a job.

    Additional personal information
    My father has passed away. I live with my mother and my two brothers. My elder brother works in a company here. And my younger is in India. He runs his own business.

    (this time only i search a job here...... What i wanted to say is i did nt search any job in my last trip...... hope you understand

  4. #4
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Re: Visit, trip

    Quote Originally Posted by sureshfina View Post
    thanks for your correction. now i have corrected my conversation

    Personal introduction for an interview

    I come from India. I am a post-graduate in Business administration. Before that I got a bachelor's degree in commerce. [By saying you are a "post-graduate", you are saying you are still a student, taking a higher qualification. Is this the case? Or are you saying that you have a Higher Degree in Business Administration?]

    I have been working in accounts and administration since I completed my studies in 2001. [You do not need either "the" or "fields"]

    This is my second visit here. On my first visit, I came with my friend and his family. My friend's father helped me to get a visa at that time. It was a travel visa that was only valid for two months and could not be extended. This time I have come with a company visit visa that can be extended for one more month.

    It has been 9 days since I arrived.

    At present I am staying with a friend in ……. . I will stay here once I successfully get a job. [Do you mean that you will stay with the friend if you find a job, or that you will stay "here" - in the country?]

    Additional personal information
    My father has passed away. I live with my mother and my two brothers. My older brother works in a company here, and my younger is in India. He runs his own business.

    (this time only I search for a job here...... What I wanted to say is I didn't search for a job on my last trip...... hope you understand
    ..

  5. #5
    sureshfina is offline Junior Member
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    Smile Re: Visit, trip

    I come from India. I am a post-graduate in Business administration. Before that I got a bachelor's degree in commerce. [By saying you are a "post-graduate", you are saying you are still a student, taking a higher qualification. Is this the case? Or are you saying that you have a Higher Degree in Business Administration?]

    I have a master degree in Business administration. Is it ok? or tell me some words that will say that i have a master and bachelor degree.

    At present I am staying with a friend in ……. . I will stay here once I successfully get a job. [Do you mean that you will stay with the friend if you find a job, or that you will stay "here" - in the country?]

    The place I search a job is too far from the place where I stay. So it’s common thing the employer have doubts of how I can come to the working place from my place. I wants to tell him that I will ready to relocate once I become employed.


    thanks a lot

  6. #6
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Re: Visit, trip

    I have a master degree in Business administration. Is it ok? or tell me some words that will say that i have a master and bachelor degree.

    Say just that: "I have a BA in Commerce and a Master's Degree in Business Administration"



    The place I search a job is too far from the place where I stay. So it’s common thing the employer have doubts of how I can come to the working place from my place. I wants to tell him that I will ready to relocate once I become employed.

    Again, say that: "I am staying with a friend at present, but if I can find a job, I will happily relocate and find somewhere nearer to live".

  7. #7
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    Re: Visit, trip

    sureshfina>

    I owe you, and Anglika, and everyone here I guess, an apology. I'm sorry that I left your "corrected" document with some errors still in it and was not available for follow up questions. It won't happen again.

    And also I should thank Anglika for being kind enough to pick up my slack. Although I'm not qualified to take responsibilty for an issue here, I tried to anyway and did not do a complete job.

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