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  1. #1
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    Default could anyone pls give a hand?

    Please, I need help with my style and grammar, I would appreciate it if you could comment on my review about a book that I have just read. Thank you!


    The shelters of stone

    “The shelters of stone”, which puts an end to the five-book saga “The Earth’s children”, represents the peak of Jean M. Auel’s career.

    In this historic book Ayla and Jondalar arrive at Jondalar’s home after a year’s travel in which they have acquired a big amount of knowledge. At the stone shelter, where Jondalar’s family live, they will share all their experiences with those who will be soon their family.

    This novel can be found either in paperback or hardback. The storyline is divided into unnamed chapters, what provides a pinch of expectation as you do not now what else will happen. No illustrations are needed, although as in every book of the saga, the reader can find a map of the prehistoric Europe shown in the book.

    Through this novel an idea of how life was during the prehistoric age can be achieved. Furthermore Auel writes about the techniques that are bound to have been discovered ¿? during the storyline. However, since the plot continues to be the same as in the previous books the novel of 920 pages is hard to read.

    To sum up, despite its good qualities “The shelters of stones” does not achieve the level of expectation shown in the rest of the saga. Auel could make feel disillusioned to those who have already read the previous four fair best sellers.

  2. #2
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: could anyone pls give a hand?

    Quote Originally Posted by venerupis View Post
    Please, I need help with my style and grammar, I would appreciate it if you could comment on my review about a book that I have just read. Thank you!


    The shelters of stone

    “The Shelters of Stone”, which puts [brings to] an end the five-book saga “The Earth’s Children”, represents the peak of Jean M. Auel’s career.

    In this historic ["historic" means "famous in history". The term you may want is "historical novel"] book Ayla and Jondalar arrive at Jondalar’s home after a year’s travel in which they have acquired a big amount [a large amount OR a great deal] of knowledge. At the stone shelter, where Jondalar’s family live, they will share all their experiences with those who will be soon their family.

    This novel can be found either in paperback or hardback. The storyline is divided into unnamed chapters; that provides a pinch of expectation as you do not now [know] what else [unnecessary - delete] will happen. No illustrations are needed, although, as in every book of the saga, the reader can find a map of the [unnecessary - delete] prehistoric Europe shown [either "printed" OR delete] in the book.

    Through this novel an idea of how life was during the prehistoric age can be achieved [acquired/gained]. Furthermore Auel writes about the techniques that are bound to have been discovered ¿? during the storyline. However, since the plot, continues to be the same as in the previous books the novel of 920 pages is hard to read. To say this is to mean that each book has exactly the same series of events and characters. I think you need to reconsider this sentence.

    To sum up, despite its good qualities “The Shelters of Stone” does not achieve the level of expectation [expectation = belief that something will happen - is this what you meant?]shown in the rest of the saga. Auel could make feel disillusioned to[disillusion] those who have already read the previous four fair [unnecessary - delete]best sellers.
    .

  3. #3
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    Default Re: could anyone pls give a hand?

    I have some doubts:

    1- When writing the title of a book, how do you know what goes in capital letters and what no? Because I'm not a native speaker so I translate from my language.

    2- Would it be better if I wrote: "since each book has the same series of events the novel is hard to read" instead of "since the plot, continues to be the same as in the previous books the novel of 920 pages is hard to read"?? (The characters is the only thing that changes in each book.

    3-"despite its good qualities “The Shelters of Stone” does not achieve the level of expectation shown in the rest of the saga"--> with expectation I wanted to say that you are wandering (and looking forwar to knowing) what will happen in the following part, which would be the correct word? It is not in my dictionary...

    4- "Auel disillusion those who have already read the previous four fair [unnecessary - delete]best sellers"--> I mean that this last book is not a fair best seller, it is a best seller just because the previous ones were very good, how could I say it? or do you think is not necessary to say it another time?

    Thank you for everything! I am working hard but I need some help!

  4. #4
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: could anyone pls give a hand?

    Quote Originally Posted by venerupis View Post
    I have some doubts:

    1- When writing the title of a book, how do you know what goes in capital letters and what no? Because I'm not a native speaker so I translate from my language. There are different ways of writing titles. The best thing to do to be sure it is right is do an internet search - Amazon is a good place to start.

    2- Would it be better if I wrote: "since each book has the same series of events the novel is hard to read" instead of "since the plot, continues to be the same as in the previous books the novel of 920 pages is hard to read"?? (The characters is the only thing that changes in each book. Surely there are different events, but many of the same characters? Or is it that Jean Auel is repeating her theories of prehistoric life?

    3-"despite its good qualities “The Shelters of Stone” does not achieve the level of expectation shown in the rest of the saga"--> with expectation I wanted to say that you are wondering (and looking forward to knowing) what will happen in the following part, which would be the correct word? It is not in my dictionary... "does not fulfil the expectations the reader had in the rest of the saga" is my suggestion.

    4- "Auel disillusions those who have already read the previous four fair [unnecessary - delete]best sellers"--> I mean that this last book is not a fair best seller, it is a best seller just because the previous ones were very good, how could I say it? or do you think is not necessary to say it another time? I don't think you need to qualify "best-seller", and your sentence stands without "fair".

    Thank you for everything! I am working hard but I need some help!
    .

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