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  1. #1
    daffodil is offline Newbie
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    Default plz check my essay

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    life have changed and every thing around us have changed , too. There're big differences between life today and in the past . I think every life has its advantages and disadvantages. Every one has own opinion about the kind of life he want to live. some people like the way of life in the past because he miss the simple ,calm life and that due to their personality and there are a lot of people fond of the simple life despite they live in the modern cities. On the other hand there are people like the cities life with all of its noise and crowed and they can't live in simple live and that's also due to their personality
    Life in the past as I said previously distinguished with simplicity and primary and tradition . may be these elements are main facts which pay people attention to this kind of life where people need to the calm and rest by their nature and these elements are missed these days. for example road in the past not as much as traffic like today . today when you want to head to another place you need a hour and half where as in the past you didnít need that much time to head from place to another despite in the past they used animal instead of animal .although the advantages of the past live ,it has a lot of disadvantages making the present day more easies than past. the present day has a lot of disadvantages causing a lot of diseases either physical or psychological diseases , turning people as if they was machine received more than sent , moving from place to anther emotionless


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    also i want to correct this small paragraph I think is it correct isn't it ?


    Celebrating with this religious spiritual festival , we post this thread to be in contact with you, allowing to post anything about this month either articles , General information , photos or cards and to write your daily , your customs in this holy month

  2. #2
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    Default Re: plz check my essay

    Life has changed and every thing around us has changed too. There are big differences between life today and life in the past . I think every life has it's advantages and disadvantages. Everyone has his own opinion about the kind of life he wants to live. Some people like the way of life in the past because he misses the simple, calm life he once led. There are a lot of people fond of the simple life despite the fact that they live in modern cities. On the other hand, there are people who like city life, though it is noisy and crowded, and they don't wish to live the simple life, due to their busy personality.
    Life in the past is distinguished with simplicity and tradition . Perhaps these elements are what make people interested in this kind of life. People have a need for calm and rest and these days we tend to miss these elements. For example, roads in the past were not as filled with traffic like we have today . Today when you want to go somewhere you need at least an hour and half, where as in the past you didnít need nearly as much time to travel. ? despite in the past they used animal instead of animal . ? Although there are advantages of life in the past, there are a lot of disadvantages. The present day is much easier than the past. Life in the present day also has a lot of disadvantages due to lack of rest. This can even cause disease, either physical or psychological; people are turned into machines, ? received more than sent ?, moving from place to place without emotion.

    Comments:
    The places I put in bold I did not understand. I was not able to edit these. I would suggest taking them out of your essay, unless you are able to revise them to make sense.
    I think I understand what you are getting at. There were definitely some grammatical errors which made it very difficult to understand your essay. I think you made some very good points. The way one choses to live their life depends very much on their personality. We are definitely too focused on the hustle and bustle of life and miss out on the rest and relaxation we need as humans.
    I hope that I was able to retain your thoughts in my edition of your essay. Please note that my changes are only suggestions.
    I hope I helped.

  3. #3
    daffodil is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: plz check my essay

    Thanks for your corrections
    he he he sorry i meant
    in the past they used animal instead of vehicles

    people are turned into machines, ? received more than sent ?, moving from
    place to place without emotion.

    here I likened people with machine which they just recived instructions and order more than send ( talk ) do you undestand anyways thanks again

    sorry for bthering you but you didn't tell if this pragraph correct or not

    Celebrating with this religious spiritual festival , we post this thread to be in contact with you, allowing to post anything about this month either articles , General information , photos or cards and to write your daily , your customs in this holy month

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